There are situations that occur in life that shapes you to a different kind of person. Honestly, at this point, if I decide not to trust people I am not in any way to be blamed.
Here's the story:
A friend has asked me several times for my apartment in exchange for his, but I said no. Today, I got a message from my house owner saying: your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet. What should I do?
Tell your house owner that you have already told your friend that you are not leaving and that he doesn't accept no as an answer. Tell the house owner that you feel that this friends consistent asking is becoming harassment and that if he does it again, or if the house owner is contacted again, you will report your friend for harassment. Making it clear to the house owner will put them in the picture and will help get support. Also tell your friend, once and for all, that you are not interested and that if they ask again, you will be letting the police know that you feel this is harassment. In the meantime, write down the days/dates/times that you have been asked, as evidence or harassment. Probably by telling them that you will contact police will be enough to get them to stop.
ReplyDelete“A friend has asked me several times for my apartment in exchange for his, but I said no. Today, I got a message from my house owner saying: your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet. What should I do?”
ReplyDeleteA2A:
From what I read here, it appears that the correct answer is “nothing.” Your house owner is supporting your remaining in the house, and turned your “friend” away.
All I would do in your stead, is to go into my mind and relabel this person as “ex friend.”
You should thank your landlord and apologize for your faux-friend bothering him. Explain that you’ve already told this person repeatedly that you’re not leaving but he seems not to understand. Assure the landlord that YOU will tell him if and when you intend to leave, which you do not intend to do anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteYou should sever your ties with this ‘friend’.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of friend would push so hard for something you don’t want, for utterly selfish reasons? No kind, that’s what kind. And make sure the house owner knows without question, where you stand, and that all of this is going on aside form the fact that you’ve repeatedly said no.
Your ‘friend’ is really fucked up, and doing something really fucked up. Kick him to the curb, and get a restraining order if necessary.
Tell him you will vacate but you don’t want his apartment, you’ll pick one on your own and he has to come up with the deposit, first months rent, moving costs and the two days pay you’re going to lose.
ReplyDeleteWrite up a simple contract specifying costs and conditions for default. Make a copy and both sign each contract. You keep the original.
This guy is trying to weasel you out of your apartment and you refer to him as a “friend”? I hate to see what you call an enemy. I know what I would tell him but I don’t consider it appropriate to use that kind of language on an open website like this.
ReplyDeleteSo, your so-called “friend” went to your landlord, trying to get your apartment … when he couldn’t convince you, he went behind your back …
ReplyDeleteand you still referred to him as “A friend…” - in fact, he acted more like a snake than a friend.
Lose the loser, keep your apartment.
I agree with the other answers — this person isn’t your friend. I’d call him and say, “I’m not exchanging apartments with you. Stop asking. I understand that you contacted my landlord about this. That was inappropriate.” Depending on his response, I might tell him at this point to stop contacting you.
ReplyDeleteMake it clear to said friend who isnt respecting you that your not doing an exchange and youd appreciate if he moved on that you dont appreciate feeling harassed
ReplyDeleteI did already. Thank you
DeleteThat, my friend, is not a friend. Wow…
ReplyDeleteIt is now Ex-friend of there is any term like that.
DeleteThank your house owner.
ReplyDeleteYeah I did
DeleteIt is good your house owner is understanding. Let you 'friend' know that you know about everything and see whether he apologizes.
ReplyDeleteI do not care about my ex friend at this point I made it clear to my house owner. Humans amazing you know. Things just keeps unfolding.
DeleteWhat on earth! This "friend" is not a true friend at all. How dare they go behind your back and speak to your landlord after you specifically said no. I am so angry on your behalf and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Definitely let your landlord know that you are not leaving your apartment and tell your "friend" to back off or your friendship is at risk.
ReplyDeletethe creation of beauty is art.
It has been lots of disappointing people who God is clearing away from my path. It might make me hurt or get really angry but I made it clear to my house owner and she already knows. I am pretty amazed at what people can turn into.
DeleteI'm glad that the house owner supported you. The person whom you called friend certainly didn't behave like one. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short season. Wishing you peace and the joy of genuine loving frienships.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, when I got that text from my house owner, I said to myself 'we are not friends. Its a closed chapter.
DeletePut your foot down, tell him sternly this is once and for all I'm not moving don't bring it up or call my landlord again. Let him know if he values your relationship he won't ask again.
ReplyDeleteYour home owner shouldn't of even messaged you. He easily could've told your friend the place is currently occupied and leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Curated by Jennifer
It doesn't sound like a very good friend if they are no listening to you! i'd stand your ground and let them know you are not moving if you don't want to!
ReplyDeleteHope that you are having a lovely weekend :)
Away From Blue
This is more like an enemy, rather than a friend... I am glad this is your ex friend now!
ReplyDeleteShoot for the stars | ☆ ☆ ☆ | Facebook page | ☆ ☆ ☆ | Instagram
Just say NO, and mean it.
ReplyDeleteObviously, you are not interested (else you won't be asking here). Why keep this nagging inquiry lingering?
Unless you tell the homeowner you are going to move out, the apartment is yours unless the homeowner throws you out. I think your “friend” has a lot of nerve going over your head.
ReplyDeleteThat's very forward of them to ask the owner after you said no. Some friend. Do nothing. It was borderline rude to go behind your back and ask the homeowner when they are supposed to be your friend. You would think that is something they would ask you to see when or if you were moving out first and leave it that. Or even tell you they would like to rent it if you when you move and please let the homeowner know.
ReplyDelete“Your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet”
ReplyDeleteIs this person really your friend?
If you have no intention of leaving, make that very clear to the owner of the apartment.
Your “friend” has gone over your head, therefore, how can this person be considered a friend?
For your friend, to try to secure the apartment to lease after you decide to leave is quite normal.
That's not the case here though is it.
Nothing. Sounds like your “friend” tried to do a run-around and failed.
ReplyDeleteTell the owner about the repeated inquiries. Thank the owner for answering they way they did, and let them know that you have no interest in changing that answer. Tell your “friend” that the answer will not change and that they need to stop asking. Let them know that the continued harassment is affecting your friendship. After that, address any future inquiries of the sort with the following statement:
ReplyDelete“Eff off (insert friend’s name here)” in a completely neutral tone. Any further discussion should be met with the same.
You don’t need to do anything. Your friend is sol and your landlord is uninvolved.
ReplyDeleteSend him a text in bold letters asking him what part of no does he not understand? Reiterate once again that you have no intention of moving or exchanging apartments with him and tell him to please stop asking you because he is being a pain in the ass. If that doesn't do it cut ties with him.
ReplyDeleteYour do called friend didn't respect your decision and even tried to get the owner involved. Whst kind of frurnd is that? Respect is important in a friendship. If it were me I would be unhappy it and tell them it was inappropriate not to respect your decision.
ReplyDeleteYou're not dealing with friend anymore. If he's going behind your back to try to not take no for an answer. He also clearly doesn't care if you're homeless if he's willing to commit such a gross violation of ettiquite.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your friend and ask him why he wants your apartment so badly. Talk to your owner to and tell him you aren’t leaving so to not give your apartment out to anyone as long as you’re there. Both of them should understand !
ReplyDeleteRespond to your landlord and say you have no plan to leave your apartment and send a copy of your response to your “friend” (who you should then drop for being a jerk).
ReplyDeleteI would make it clear to the house owner about your interest to stay where you are and not to listen to those without your permission to give up your apartment.
ReplyDeleteI would put it in writing and sign it and date it so there will not be any confusion - I would also certify that letter to make sure that the owner received it!
It would not have further discussion with this so-called friend who is trying to screw you over. Believe me, “some people will not accept “no” for an answer.
I have been in your shoes and it was “HELL!” Which a co-worker kept trying to push her will onto me by manipulating others and giving the impression I had told her it was okay to bother my boss, who by the way fired her from taking so much time from work and told him I would take her eyeglasses to her home which she claimed I would? I had an appointment that day to get a loan and this woman was interfering with my life?
She was frustrated with me because as much as I helped her at the office she expected more and more favors and she wanted me to be her chauffeur to pick her up at home and take her back and forth to work? I told her I run errands in the morning and evenings and could not subject myself to being late to work.\
She wouldn’t stop her demands on my time and this woman was married who did she think I was, “a fool of a person?” I had worse manipulators in my time and had enough of them! Please don’t allow people to manipulate and control you it will get worse if you do.
plain and simple you ask your landlord have you given him letter that you are moving ? Of course you will say no so it settled you are not movie.
ReplyDeleteWhat does “ not leaving yet mean “ ? �� Are you planning on moving out and is your friend is aware of this ?? �� Or not at all and your landlord just misspoke ?? �� . Why is your friend so interested in your apartment and does he know something that he's not telling you! ?? �� Why is he so persistent in this matter ?? �� If were you , I would find out what is truly going on here and get to the bottom of all this quickly as possible .
ReplyDeleteMake sure you have an up to date Lease and tell the Owner when or if you plan to move.
ReplyDeleteAlso I would tell this so called friend that they were told that you are not moving and to stop talking about it and that you know he or she went behind your back and you don't think that is beinf a friend and what the hay were they thinking.
Tell the landlord he not stable,and that you aren’t moving. Next time he call have him say he not letting you out of your lease
ReplyDeleteThat person is not your friend. Went behind your back to your landlord. Good that you are a good tenant and your landlord told you. Now tell your friend to back off, go away, mind their own business and to leave you and your landlord alone. Harassment charges are easy to prove if they continue. I know you have better friends than that or your landlord wouldn't think so highly of you.
ReplyDeleteTell your f”friend” that no means no and to not take it upon themself to contact your landlord. Tell your “friend”to not ask that question again.
ReplyDeleteAre you close to his or her family?
ReplyDeleteSeek professional help
Set up intervention with loved ones
Respond to your landlord and say you have no plan to leave your apartment and send a copy of your response to your “friend” (who you should then drop for being a jerk).
ReplyDeleteTell your so called friend; NO, mean no. If you ask me again for my apartment then our friendship will end - your not showing me any respect at all as I have told you no several time then you call the owner telling him you want my apartment; what is wrong with you - are you Obsessive Compulsive. You need to see a Psychiatrist and get some help. For the last time I will not let you have my apartment and if you ask me again then our friendship will end. If he ever asked again, document it, the time and date or if it’s a text save it. Block his number and cut all contact, this so called friend has a mental problem. I used to have a friend till I realized he was obsessive compulsive, my ex GF and I got him kicked off city police department plus never seen any guy in a gym abuse steroids as bad as he did which made him worse. He would stalk women after one date and they would tell him to never contact me again, so bad she call police chief, he tried to rape a female friend of mine and when I broke up with this woman two days later she started dating him thinking it would bother me but it did not; I started to call her and warn her but did not want any contact with her. The ex GF called police on him for breaking in her house and the cops told him to go home so she took out a 50 B protective order against him. He broke in her house again and beat on her - that was the final straw as I has call the chief a couple of times.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot complain what you tolerate. Talk to your friend and advise him that you will not be bullied like this. Set up a meeting with him and talk to him. Stand your ground.
ReplyDeleteSad that some pople are like that!
ReplyDeletewww.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
That's not a friend. Sounds like your landlord is a decent human being.
ReplyDeleteWhat did you tell your “friend”? Sounds like you said something to the guy who wants your apartment. Did you tell him you were moving to get him out of your apartment. If he got mail there, you might be stuck. Some state laws say, once a person gets mail at a place, he/she can stay there. You might want to check.
If you told the landlord he was staying with you for awhile, you might have a heck of a time getting him out of there. The landlord is likely going to follow the state or province laws.
I'd tell the landlord that you want to change the locks.Then pay to change them. Give the landlord the new key key and ask him not to give the new key to your “friend".
I know.
No good deed goes unpunished. You were likely trying to be a nice guy and let him stay for a while. You didn't know he had a secret agenda. I had military neighbors that thought I should allow them to use one of my.cars. I didn't. They got really pissed and tried to report me to the sheriffs for stealing their mail. They harassed me until they were assigned to another part of the country. He actually came back to the area and chased me down.one day. Moron.
I can't tell you what to do but what I suggested here. Are you afraid to lose his “friendship”? He's not afraid to lose yours.
That is a very strange request to me! I am glad that your landlord/home owner turned your friend away as well. I would leave it at that! And I would be upset that my friend went behind my back after I told them no. Totally weird! Thanks for linking up.
ReplyDeleteShelbee
www.shelbeeontheedge.com
Stand your ground and don't be pressured into giving it up!
ReplyDeleteEmma xxx
www.style-splash.com
Melody; tell the friend to bug off!
ReplyDeleteI understand he’s not your friend. Ask a legal firm over some type of legal assistance or doc prep person to prepare a cease and desist letter. If he continues, take him to court.
ReplyDeleteA2A. Tell your landlord what has happened.Then block this “friend” because he’s not worthy of your time.
ReplyDeleteMan - ( Usually Men are the one )
ReplyDeleteHe doesn’t know what NO is - You must let him know - what NO means -
That I am sure you know - how to handle who does not know - NO
Ok you must not live in the USA as you can’t just exchange apartments on a whim. Nor can landlord give it away with you still living there. You need to sit this “Friend” down and ask them what is so great about your apartment that they just have to have it and the tell them you never want to see or hear from them again if this is how they are going to act.
ReplyDeleteif he won’t negotiate with you, say no.
ReplyDeleteIf you signed a lease, there's nothing they can do. But if you're on a month to month, your landlord can ask you to move out with 60 days notice. If you're unsure about your status, ask to sign another lease for however long you want and if your landlord lets you, then your troubles are over. He may not agree to a new lease however. It depends on your relationship with him.
ReplyDeleteI would thank the house owner and reinforce that this is your friend talking — that you DO NOT want to move.
ReplyDeleteThen tell your friend (are they really a friend, after all this?) to back off and stop contacting either you or your landlord about this. Period.
Explain to your landlord that you aren't leaving & that you would have told them first if you were…then tell your “friend" that when you said no, you meant no, that going to the house owner was out of order. Then get some new friends.
ReplyDeleteEasy… write back & tell you are NOT leaving. Thank you! Leave your number.
ReplyDeleteThat is illegal for your so called friend to want to exchange an apt. NO GO! Be sure and tell the owner.
Stand your ground. When you leave let your landlord handle it.
ReplyDeleteI am your friend send me all of your money. Lol. That person is not your friend. “Your friend" went behind your back and tried to take what you wouldn't give them willingly.
ReplyDeleteSimply tell your friend, “No, but, I’ve got an idea, why don’t you look for another apartment if you don’t like your own apartment, but MINE is not on the market.”
ReplyDeleteIf he says another word about it, drop him like a rock. He’s not your friend. He’s a manipulator, and you need to cut him out of your life.
Ignore him. He’ll get the message eventually.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a lease, you can't be forced out. This doesn't sound like a friend to me. This sounds like harrassment.
ReplyDeleteLet’s see, bartering. What I would do is try to be as narrow and friendly has you can with your friend and tell “No and please stop asking me” or something along those lines. If he really REALLY wants to trade badly try looking at his apartment and see if it’s better then yours “no offense” or check the damage history of the apartment. Maybe he might want to trade apartments because of the area your apartment is in! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDMs are open if anyone wants to talk or be friends
Put in writing to your landlord that you are not moving and have no intention of vacating your apartment at this time. Also make clear in writing that you have no relationship with the “friend” who wants your apartment. Tell the landlord in writing that you will give the required (X) days/weeks/months notice when you are leaving. Make clear to your friend that you are not interested in trading apartments. Do this in writing if necessary. After you have written your letter to the landlord, either send it by Certified Mail if you are in the US (Certified is proof of delivery but costs less than Registered) or hand it to the landlord as you explain clearly what is in the letter.
ReplyDeleteask him which part of No doesn’t he understand?No means no in every language.
ReplyDeleteHe seems like a real pain in the ass.
Are you sure this is a friend ?
Frienenemy?
Do you have a lease? Read the terms of the lease - this will tell you what you can and can not do. As for your “friend” - why are they going over your head and making inquiries of you landlord to get your apartment? Does not sound like a friend to me.
ReplyDeleteTell your ‘ friend’ to leave you alone. And that you have no intention of moving.
ReplyDeleteLet them know that further efforts on their part will be considered harassment.
That guy is definitely not your friend. He actually contacted your landlord to try to get you moved out. That's so incredibly awful. If I were you, I would completely end your so called friendship with this back stabber. Call your landlord and let him know that you are not to going to move and that your “friend” was way out of line.
ReplyDeleteI would feel very upset that he after all the attempts to tell him now, he still went to your landlord. It shows me that the person does not respect for me or the choices I make. I am not sure what he was trying to accomplish other than your landlord kicking you so your friend can move in. As this would never happen, I am not sure what his objective was to get other people involved. And being upset with him means that for a good part of the distant future, I would not really want to be speaking to him. If he can do things like this with so much inconsideration, I would be questioning why I am friends with someone like that!!
ReplyDeleteHello there…
ReplyDeleteWell this so called friend of yours is totally out of order….
Whether he wants your apartment or not it's your apartment and his bullish overbearing and just plain rude behaviour is not to be tolerated…
How dare he approach your house owner and try to muscle you out of your home hoping to somehow go over your head and make it seem like it was your intention to leave…
You must speak to your house owner and tell them that this friend has been trying to pressure you into swapping your apartments but you have told him in no uncertain terms you want to stay where you are…
You must make your house owner aware they must not listen or take this man seriously unless you yourself request a change…
Then you speak to this friend and say you no longer want anything more to do with them as their behaviour in this matter has seriously crossed the line and they are not welcome in your home from this point onwards..
Let them know you have spoken to your house owner and they will not entertain any request from them again on your behalf…
People like this think that if they persist and bombard you with their requirements and wear you down they will eventually get what they want and if they override you and go over your head they will force the issue if your not playing along…
I cannot say it any clearer to you steer clear of this type of person they are toxic…nothing any good will come from it…
He sounds like a pushy man who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants…you do not need a friend like that….
If he had been successful after speaking with your home owner you could well have been out of an apartment no thanks to him some friend he is….
Please make the right decision and find a new friend…
I hope this helps. X
Your freind is very aggressive in making this request. This would turn me off from being there freind or talking to them at all. Tell tour house owner only when you tell them your leaving witb your own mouth do they go find someone else to live there. In the mean time enjoy living there and avoid your freind.
ReplyDeleteObviously, you didn’t make it clear to him you don’t want to exchange apartments.
ReplyDeleteIt’s outrageous your “friend” made an end run around you and went to the owner. You need to write a letter to the owner stating you are NOT planning on moving. Don’t go into a lot of personal stuff as they likely don’t want to get involved in all of this.
Make two copies of the letter, Save the original, one for the owner, and one for your friend. Now your intentions are memorialized should anything else occur.
Should they persist, file a complaint with the local PD. But let that be a last resort. P.S. I would think seriously about widening your circle of friends. What your friend is doing is unethical and also weird.
Confirm with the landlord that you have no intention to leave and that you have told the same to the friend, so he/she should ignore future communication from the friend.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who is selfish is not a real friend if you don’t want to leave your apartment DON’T .. Don’t do it to just please this so call friend. Stay put
ReplyDeleteThis person is not your friend. This person must be used to having his/her way. A real friend would not keep bothering you. First, say no one final time. Second, tell this pest to stop bothering you. Third, tell this person to go to hell. Problem solved.
ReplyDeleteMelody, dear, if this guy is being this much of a PEST over an apartment; honey-child, this guy AIN'T your friend! The fact that he went to see your landlord makes him sound almost like a stalker! Do yourself a favor, stay away from him, and maybe watch your back, mind your surroundings! Live your life, but be safe!!!
ReplyDeleteTell the landlord if you are going to stay or not. Whatever you decide, tell the landlord (In writing) that this person isn’t your friend, and you have no idea why he is harassing you. Then cut all contact with this guy.
ReplyDeleteThis guy isn’t your friend. He is being deceptive by going behind your back and talking to the landlord when you have told him you are staying in your apartment.
It was nice of the house owner to back you up on this one. The guy sounds really pushy, though. Wow! There’s a possibility that he may continue to bring up the issue trying to make you just cave.
ReplyDeleteA good thing to do is to call him out on his game with something like “I know that you went to the landlord but I’m not going to trade apartments with you. End of discussion. If you can’t respect that, maybe we should take a break from our friendship.”
Don’t do anything. I don’t see a problem here. You’re not moving so everyone needs to stand down. Is your friendship with this person at risk? What are the reasons he wants your apartment? Does he want to move in with you? Is there a romantic motivation? Are the views better? Is your apartment suitable for something he needs? Moving is a hassle. If your friend is willing to supply the manpower maybe you will consider. For now, tell him he’s messing with your serenity.
ReplyDeleteI think it's time for you to check your friend. He can't go on living his life thinking he can force you into anything. If he gets upset after it's on him because hes the cause of how you reacted.
ReplyDeleteCut that friend off. Going to your landlord is a complete violation and invasion of your privacy. They are trying to force your hand, which is something that real friends wont do.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I would immediately END the friendship and let your presumptuous, entitled “friend” know - in no uncertain terms - that if he continues to harass you or your landlord, he will hear from you again via your SOLICITOR! What impertience trying to bully you out of your apartment. Clearly, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with his apartment: serious damage, plumbing problems, problems with the neighbours or, very likely, valid problems with his landlord - you’ll never know and HIS problems should NOT become YOUR problems! If his thuggish, bullying behaviour is any indication, you may need to get legal advice and seek a restraining order. Tell him to “Get lost!” and mean it! Sever all contact because, believe me, this bully is NO FRIEND of yours!
ReplyDeleteKiss him off as a friend.
ReplyDeleteTell the landlord you are not leaving and he is to avoid further calls from him
The end
Thank you landlord.End this so called friendship anyone who would go behind your back and push his agenda after you made it clear it’s not happening is dangerous to have in your life….that person is a weasel
ReplyDeleteThis so called friend is pushing you out .
ReplyDeletePlease get in touch with the owner and say that you have no intention of leaving in the future and to please ignore this person , she may start feeling that your going to leave at any minute.
and I fear that this is what the so called friend is trying to do.
You don’t owe your friend your apartment .This is becoming ridiculous.You told him no that needs to be the end of it. What is wrong with his own apartment?Now he is telling your landlord about it after you told him no?Tell the house owner you arent going anywhere and that you have told your friend no. the words “not leaving yet” that the owner said to your friend what does that mean?That the apartment owner expect you to give the apartment to your friend in the future ?You obviously do not want your friend’s apartment. Make that clear to him do not let him pressure you .
ReplyDeleteI’d say stop being friends with this person. These actions are no different from the schoolyard bully who wants to trade your pudding cup for a baloney sandwich and just doesn’t get that your answer is no.
ReplyDeleteCall your landlord and explain what’s going on, as well as filling out a police report if you really want to be serious about this, then inform your ‘friend’ about what your position is. Don’t mince words and make them understand you will not be harassed.
Clearly tell the homeowner that you like it there and are not ready to move yet. Then tell your friend in no uncertain terms that NO IM NOT MOVING AND I DONT WANT YOUR APARTMENT. I LIKE MINE SO I AM STAYING. If you can't handle that then we can't be friends any more and do not EVER go to my landlord like that again!
ReplyDeleteWell, first of all he shouldn't have done that went over your head to your landlord that is Bullshit, I would go to the landlord & tell him I am Not giving up my place for his bottom line. I would go to the “ friend" & tell him the same, that was a Dick move & sweetheart friends don't do shit like that. If it was me I would cut him out of my life think of it this way he is a selfish bitch. What's else would he do behind your back? God willing don't ever
ReplyDeletebe w/ him if some shit went down he would leave there to save his own ass.Fuck him if he wants another place
& go find one like a true friend would not try to take yours.
JUST SAY “"NO❗️” What part of no don't you understand, the “n” or the “o” ❓
ReplyDeleteThat seems self evident. First hell no you don't go. Now lets consider why. First I doubt your”friend “ is a friend. Repeatedly trying to get first you and then your landlord to give him what you rightfully have. In one or several ways your place is notably better than his. Or maybe his behavior is bringing him trouble and he needs to get scarce. Your place is your place and any advantages it holds are yours period. Not yours if you can justify it to him. By all means make it clear that you've answered him and that's the end of it. You're not being unkind to a friend because he would first have to be a friend. Does he sometimes congratulate himself for taking advantage of someone? A hustle that shows how clever he is?
ReplyDeleteMake it very clear to your landlord that you're not even considering this and never have. You'd appreciate knowing if he persists in asking him about it. If he's in some trouble where he is now he would be putting you in a risk position. If so that's not how real friends do you Refuse to debate it further.
Don’t be afraid to be rude, he keeps bashing you for your apartment, just say no over and over and over. Stonewall him.
ReplyDeleteIf he says “but why not? I really…” yada yada yada
just say “no”
better yet, next time he asks, ask him “What did I say?”
If he says something like “It’s not a big deal ” tell him back “If it’s not a big deal then it’s not worth my time”
don’t budge at all not even a little. Let his words go into an abyss, and all that comes back at him is “my answer is no”
After all this if he still asks, just ignore it, leave him, or block him.
why did you put a link to a clothing shop? do you want people to take you seriously?
ReplyDeleteyou wrote you’re not leaving “yet.” so that means you’re leaving at some point? so your friend just wants your apartment after you leave? if that’s the case, what is the problem? it’s not down to you to decide who gets it after you leave. it’s down to the owner, which would explain why they contacted them instead. and the owner made it clear to them you weren’t leaving yet. so what is the problem?
i don’t understand, though, why you care who has your apartment after you leave. to me, that’s weird. a good friend would tell the owner that this friend would be a great tenant, to help get them in once you leave. but it sounds like you are doing the opposite. why would you do that.
Has it been discussed between you and your friend and then mentioned to your landlord and have you given notice to the landlord.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you are paying your rent and the landlord is happy for you to stay there tell your friend that you are staying but if you decide
to move you will let him/her know so that they can get first refusal.
I would think that the landlord would be happy for you to stay putt as it means lots of extra paperwork for him and the cost of removal formyou
This person is not your friend. Write a letter telling him to cease and desist attempting to rent the apartment you already rent and give a copy to your landlord.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure this person is your “friend,” because he sounds extremely shifty to me. Not only did he ask you for something you weren’t offering, he then went behind your back and spoke to your landlord expressing his desire.
ReplyDeleteWe’re not talking about him coveting some nonessential possession of yours - he’s after your residence! That is bizarre and completely unacceptable.
Make it clear to your landlord that you fully intend to continue renting your apartment and will give proper notice should you decide to vacate. After that, have a serious chat with your “friend,” YOUR apartment will continue to be YOUR apartment. Imagine if your landlord had taken your friend’s words to be true, drafted a lease with him and left you scrambling to vacate YOUR apartment?
Let your friend know what he’s done is unacceptable and will damage your friendship if he does not stop, not to mention destroy the relationship completely if you must involve the authorities due to his continued harassment.
He doesn't sound like a friend. Tell him to fuck-off and if he screws with you again, regarding the apartment, you will lease it out to a stranger when you leave.
ReplyDeleteYou’ve not expressed the situation too clearly but it’s usually a good idea to do as the landlord wishes. If I understand, that means swap. If you have a lease you are not obligated. If you agree, you may be able to negotiate some compensation, such as getting them to pay for your rent and perhaps replace an appliance or two?
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean friend? That person is trying to take advantage of you period. Just write him off. Tell him that you live there and have no intention to leave.
ReplyDeleteThank your house owner for setting the record straight.
ReplyDeleteTell your “friend" to STOP. Stop trying to finagle their way into your living space. You do not have any intention of leaving, you do not want to “trade" and you do not want to have this discussion again.
Your “friend" is trying to use coercive tactics by pressuring you into changing your mind. Any “friend" that does this is toxic. You cannot allow the pressure to affect you. Also be warned that when this person is confronted to stop, they might end up using other tactics such as lying in order to get you evicted. Try to keep things tactful and friendly.
A person that goes to this extreme though - wow. I'd be concerned about their mental stability - but that's something you'll need to decide on your own considering your personal interactions with them.
It's your apartment if your rent is paid up till the beginning of the month or whatever it's your apartment unfortunate for your friend
ReplyDeleteIf your not plan on moving you should tell your landlord you had no intention of moving because it appears as if he told them you were.
ReplyDeleteI can understand that someone would call the landlord ahead of time and say they want a certain place when it next becomes vacant. This friend harassing you, though, is over the line. Not the kind of guy I would call a friend. Sometimes, if you go into the police station, they will let you file an “incident report,” so you have some little bit of leverage if this should continue. It is creepy behavior, and it sounds like he may be trying to intimidate you into moving out.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is obviously not your friend. You’ll need to take steps to protect yourself because he clearly doesn’t care what you think or how you feel about him, and really, really wants your apartment.
ReplyDeleteI’ll go ahead and be a bit paranoid here but is there any chance for you to get some sort of a basic security system, and a hidden voice-activated recorder thingy in case he decides to threaten you? Or come by when you aren’t at home?
And of course record any calls you might have together. If you need a restraining order later, it will be good to have evidence.
That's not a friend, that is a narcissist that is going to drag you through the mud and make you feel grateful….You need to oust that person from your life immediately!
ReplyDeleteNothing. You have every right to stay where you are.
ReplyDeleteStand your ground. That is YOUR home. Tell this so called friend to stop asking your not moving.
ReplyDeleteIt's past the time to tell your “friend “ HELL NO".
ReplyDeleteThank your landlord and assure her/him that you will not be leaving any time soon.
Sounds like a pushy friend. No means no. Why is your land lord in the middle of this? I’d be ticked off. Read your “friend” the riot act.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a lease and when does it expire?
ReplyDeleteDo you want to continue to live there beyond the term of the lease? If yes I would be asking for an extension now.
What makes you think this guy that wants your apartment is a friend? Does not seem so to me.
Tell your “friend” to stop harassing you, for you are NOT leaving your apartment no matter what he does, and that’s that.
ReplyDeleteLet your friend know that he has crossed boundaries. He tried to go around you and that’s not okay. You already told him no, so for him to contact your landlord was a big no no. Definitely take it up with him directly. The fact that you gave your answer and even still he just did whatever he felt. Get that behavior in check if you still want a friendship.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like your friend is actually not a very good friend at all. He obviously likes your apartment better than his and he is asking you to exchange dwellings with him which is a pretty unusual request to make. You already made it clear that you do not want to exchange apartments. He went behind your back and contacted your house owner which was very underhanded and deceitful, not to mention manipulative.
ReplyDeleteI think you should let your friend know that what he did was very inappropriate and unacceptable to you. You could ask him what he was hoping to accomplish by doing something so deceptive. You could tell him that this is not how real friends act and you are seriously questioning whether or not you can trust him in the future as a result of what he did. Let him sit with that for a while and see what he has to say.
When somebody shows you who they really are, believe them! I would be very leery of this friend from now on and I would keep my guard up to ensure that he doesn’t try to pull a fast one again. He does not sound like a sincere or trustworthy friend.
Why the hell does this friend even want it and either way, fuck that. It’s your place, why bother changing houses when you’re used to life there.
ReplyDeleteMake it very clear to anyone and everyone that could possibly be involved that you are aware of your friend's desire,but that you are not interested.
ReplyDeleteYour landlord was right in saying you are not leaving. As long as you are a good tenant your landlord shall let you keep on renewing your lease.
ReplyDeleteYour friend can of course ask you but if you said no tittle friend should just take it at that. If your friend does not like their apartment there is nothing holding them back from applying for ones that are available which yours is not one of. Your friend took it beyond friendship by asking the landlord, are you sure they are really your friend?
As far as what you should do, continue to be a good tenant and if you like the apartment keep renewing your lease. You might want to rethink this “friendship” though.
Put a stop to it right now. Your friend is trying to ruin your life. Get hold of this friend immediately, face to face would be best, and tell him that you are not leaving your apartment and if he tries to go behind your back again and contact the owner, you will serve a restraining order.
ReplyDeleteEnd friendship. It doesn’t serve you and he has no respect for you.
You need to “break up” with your friend, and explain to your landlord that you have NO plans in moving. Tell the landlord that you plan on living there for years. Tell h/her that “My friend is no longer my friend, and not to bother with his phone calls.”
ReplyDeleteHe is way out of line.
You need to be aggressive and let him know that you are happy with your apartment and are not going to move or trade. LOL. Who does he think he is??
You are way to timid about this. After I told him off, I would block him from any phone calls, texts, or other social media. He is NO friend.
Umm, that’s deep. Do you want his apartment? He has a lot of nerve if you ask me. Personally that is a violation and to go to the extreme of calling your landlord, wow. This is why I cannot deal with people, things like that are just not okay. I think we would have to have a very serious quiet discussion about line crossing. I even have a chart for that talk so you may need to make one in case they are a visual learner, make sure you put lots of illustrations on it as well. People are just too much.
ReplyDeleteWhat is his reasoning for wanting to exchange apartments? That is a strange request. How would he benefit from the exchange and would you benefit in any way?
ReplyDeleteI would make it clear to the house owner that you intend to stay in your apartment for the duration of your lease, and longer if possible. In fact, I would put it in writing and send it by certified mail so you will have proof you notified the owner of your intentions.
ReplyDeleteThere’s no telling what your friend will do to get the apartment. They might try to bribe the owner by offering them a higher rent or lump sum payment. Make sure your rent is paid on time every month so there won’t be any chance of eviction.
I would also let the friend know the house owner ratted them out, so they will think twice before doing it again. Tell them their inquiries are making you uncomfortable, as you have no intention of vacating your apartment any time soon.
This “friend” is not a friend. Probably best to end the shaky relationship, Thank the landlord for defending you, and if the friend persists, call the police and report the stalker.
ReplyDeleteAsking this question tells all of us a bit about who you are. I am guessing you are a “go along to get along” person who shies away from confrontation. You have good advice about communicating with your landlord and I hope you follow through. As for your friend, you have to decide how you define friendship. This person has crossed some very important boundaries for you. You have to decide if you tolerate this. As you have read, many others would not. When it comes to the very basics of life like your work, your home, your family, you have to draw some lines for yourself. If not, you will continue to have these types of issues throughout life. Look at it this way. Through modern technology we have the wonderful use of toilets. They are convenient. They remove waste. They are practical. We don’t want to live without them. The question then is “Do you want to be one?”. Please give this some thought. You don’t have to fight with your friend or be aggressive but you do need to be assertive. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThey are not your friend, they have no respect for your wishes…they just keep on pushing and pushing…end it…time to go in a different direction…let them find another to use…Let the house owner know you told them plain, NO! and they refuse to accept it. They will get the message…might blame you for their troubles…that’s alright, just leave you alone…it’s leaning on harrassment.
ReplyDeleteGet a new frirnd.
ReplyDeleteHello. You have an interesting issue here and I am curious why your friend is so keen on having your apartment. Are there hidden spaces filled with treasures? Is the view from your window special in some way? I think I have an idea for you unless someone else has given this (I will not read all 100+ responses here).
ReplyDeleteTake his offer if he can deposit one million Dollars into your bank account (or Pounds, or euros - not sure where you live). Take the money and run. Get a bigger place. Retire. Let him have the apartment but you profit enough to make it worthwhile.
Keep in mind that down the road you will have to leave it for any number of reasons. The landlord might sell the property, or perhaps die and the family tells you to leave. The rent might go up and you decide it is too expensive. Be prepared for anything, have a plan “B.” Good luck.
This person is not a friend. Get rid of this person. Obviously your Apartment is more important to this person than you are. This person would be out of my life before being able to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteSend him a text that says: You had no business contacting my landlord. BACK OFF. I do not want to exchange apartments and I am not going to discuss the matter anymore. The answer is NO.
ReplyDeleteIf he persists, I would get an attorney to write him a letter.
That is not your fried !!! to go behind your back to your landlord is disgusting !
ReplyDeleteKeep away from him and if he wants to know why just tell him straight you dont keep friends who stab you on the back.
He is jealous of you….keep away
If we weren't in a pandemic situation I would buy his building and evict him! Sorry dude but now ia not the time to force people out of their homes and simply because he's a jealous toddler ass. On what planet do friends do that? On a planet where friends aren't always the friends you thought they were.
ReplyDeleteI have never actually been in such a situation as yours, but I guess it would all boil down to you doing a silent comparison of your place to theirs ie., amenities and affordable rent/ pet friendly, good area, close to work, damage to apartment, excessively noisy and that sort of thing. In the end, the decision to move or swap with them would rest with you. Technically, as long as you are paying your rent, no one can make you leave. So just do a comparison of your place to theirs and decide.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely un-friend him! He KNOWS what he did. He ain’t your “friend”! I have to assume that you have already told your apartment manager about what he did. If not, the manager might be of a mind to let you out of another lease agreement early, in order to accommodate your “friend’s” wishes, believing that you are good with it. Have to wonder what ELSE that guy is willing to do in your business without your approval.
ReplyDelete“A friend has asked me several times for my apartment in exchange for his, but I said no. Today, I got a message from my house owner saying: your friend wants your apartment but I told him you are not leaving yet. What should I do?
ReplyDeleteYou need to cut them off!
That's not a friend.
They have violated you in several areas.
They also seem mentally unbalanced and could represent a danger to you.
Apologize to the house owner for the intrusion.
Inform them you will have no further dealings with this person, and don't.
This person will continue to cross your boundaries if you continue any association with them.
Tell your landlord you have no intention of moving. Find a new friend.
ReplyDeleteTell your landlord you have no intention of moving. Find a new friend.
ReplyDeleteTell them:
ReplyDelete“ I don't know what you think your doing, but you need to stop being a prick. You're not getting my flat, I don't want your flat, and the landlord doesn't even want you as a tenant. Stop being a prick because your really aggravating me now.”
Also, no one who is your friend would actually do that, that's all sorts of lame.
Let your landlord know in no uncertain terms you are NOT leaving or giving up your apartment. Put in writing and get it notarized and send it via certified mail so that’s on record. Speak with him/her as well and tell them you have no plans to give up the apartment.
ReplyDeleteThis other person is NOT your friend. Stop inviting them over or having anything to do with them . He is violating serious boundaries. Pay attention. You told him no and he’s doing all he can, even going behind your back to get you tricked or forced out of your apartment.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them! This is not a person to be trusted with your friendship.
Your friend doesn’t understand no. That’s a problem. That’s a potential rapist. Tell him if he continues to harass you about your apartment you will get a restraining order against him. Do so if he doesn’t stop. Thank your house owner, and let him know this guy you thought was a friend has started harassing you, and you are getting a court order for him to desist.
ReplyDeletethe court order is not really worth much, but it starts a legal trail if this harassment continues or gets worse. This guy is getting pretty stalker-ish, and you want it on record with your local police. Even if he is himself a policeman.
Let me first say that I am not a lawyer or paralegal and you might want to consult one in the real estate field before doing anything else. With this said, if you trust your landlord, let them in on what’s been going on with this guy. Tell them he’s asked you several times already to switch apartments and you have declined because you’re happy staying there and hope they’re also happy with you as a tenant. Say you’re shocked he has contacted them directly and a few creepy hairs are standing up on the back of your neck.
ReplyDeleteWhere I live, the landlord wouldn’t be able to give a random person like that who called any information at all due to strict privacy laws. (Ontario Canada) How did they know he was REALLY your friend? (He isn’t obviously, there’s something predatory or even chilling about a person who does this.). But it’s not the landlord’s fault, this individual sounds like one of those types who never accept the word no as well as a sneaky and calculating person.
I think it’s worth retaining a lawyer to write to the creeper on your behalf and inform the EX friend that-
My client was asked multiple times by you to switch apartments and clearly said she wasn’t interested.
You have now continued your attempts to usurp the rental from her by directly contacting the landlord. The landlord also indicated that the unit is still occupied.
Accordingly, my client has no further desire for contact with you, as this behaviour has become both harassing and invasive in nature. Do not contact her directly or indirectly via the landlord or any other contact you may know or have in common.
Should you initiate any further questions regarding my client’s housing to either her directly, the landlord or any neighbour, other tenants, family members etc., this will be considered harassment and the appropriate steps will be taken to obtain a restraining order against you.
I trust the above is clear and thank you for your anticipated cooperation with the above.
Signed,
Scruem, Up and Howe
Barristers & Solicitors
pp Mr. PH Up Esquire IV
That’s kind of weird. I think you have to be direct with this person. Tell them you are happy with your apartment and that it feels like home to you, I’d also apologize to your landlord for him calling them, and assure them that you love your place, have no intention of moving, and that you don’t even know how he got their number. Most of all though be direct with your friend, if he really is your friend he will appreciate your candor. Just tell him you are not moving anytime soon and give him the number of similar apartments (size and price) if you want, and tell him that if you ever do decide to move he’ll know first because he’s going to help you move boxes. Mention that the landlord called you about him. Just be careful with this guy, it’s suspect that he would call your landlord after you told him you are not moving and don’t want to trade.
ReplyDeleteSay no
ReplyDeleteWhy he wants particularly your apartment,what is so special about it or he is jealous and wants to see you homeless?
ReplyDeleteYour “friend” shouldn’t be your friend, but I think you already know that. Kick him to the curb NOW. He overstepped the bounds of friendship by contacting your landlord. Let you landlord know what’s been going on, that you’ve repeatedly turned this jerk’s offers down, and then call your “friend” and tell him to get lost.
ReplyDeleteUnless you are on a month to month, advise the owner you have no plans on leaving. As to the other individual, stay away from him. It appears you are naive about how nice your pad is which is why he wants to “swap" which plausibly will be to your detriment.
ReplyDeleteI would just tell him that you are not planning to move right now and that when you do decide to move, he will be the first to know. I would probably be curious as to why he wanted my apartment so bad, maybe there is a solution that you both would be happy with. If you are uncomfortable with him going to your landlord, I would let him know that. BTW, do you have the same landlord? If this is making you extremely uncomfortable, I would be honest with your friend and tell him that and add that you don;t want something like this to jeopardize your friendship.
ReplyDeleteI would like to add a word of caution here, If your friend Is the kind of person who does whatever it takes to get what they want, I would be careful and warn your landlord about it. This kind of person may resort to trying to get you evicted to get what he wants.
If hw does not accept your decision he is not a friend. Reiterate the no. If he persists talk to a lawyer about what legal recourse may be available. This sounds like a sort of harassment to me
ReplyDeleteThat is a creepy situation you are in. Make sure the police are aware of all the details. You may be able to get a restraining order. Make your apartment management aware of the threats.
ReplyDeleteit’s a sure bet this friend is not on your Christmas list.
There is not really much more that needs being done. You stated that the actual home owner told this “friend “ no that you are not leaving yet and you have also told this person according to you “several times”. Personally I find it a tad bit insulting that this person you call a friend went to the homeowner to get your apartment after you told him no? Who does that? Certainly not anyone that I would consider a friend and chances are not many would. If I were in your same situation I would take this so called “friend” of yours aside and tell him look, I’ve already told you enough times that I am NOT trading apartments with you. If and when I decide to move I will either let you know or you can have the homeowners notify you. Let him know enough is enough already. Of course it’s up to you but I would be real careful of that friend, what he did was both sneaky and extremely underhanded and wouldn’t trust him at all. He seems to want your apartment pretty bad and I wouldn’t be shocked if he didn’t do something even more underhanded then what he already has to get your apartment. Watch your back and be careful!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are simply to let your freind know he has overstepped the boundaries of friendship, and that you do not appreciate his direct pressure, or his going behind your back to the landlord.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile thank the landlord, and let him know you have no desire to leave, and that this is a case of the freind not accepting no for an answer.
Repeated unwanted attention (harassment) is a criminal offence in many countries.
ReplyDeleteGather evidence and make a statement at your local police station. If you think it may escalate then report this too.
Friend or foe, you’re going to have to be very blunt about this. Your answer is no, and that’s it. I would also have a serious talk with the landlord about this situation, so they are sure of your intent to stay, and the other’s obsessing about it. I’m sure they’re not wanting to get in between the two of you, and this is making it difficult for them as well.
ReplyDeleteGive your house owner a signed written notice (with copy to you) that you are not moving and that all requests for your apartment should be declined.
ReplyDeleteWrite to your friend and copy the landlord making it crystal clear that you have no intention of exchanging or swapping your apartment.
ReplyDeleteExplain to your friend that this apartment is important to you due to many reasons
ReplyDeleteYou have a craving for haunted houses.
There is a dead friend who is visible in night with whom you use to talk whenever he feels like talking and he does that by displacing any vessels or books on the table .
Sometimes you have observed blood coming out of water for many reasons like any insects are dead in the watertank or someone puts a dead frog and spider.
There was a time when you failed to pay rent on time by just two days then landlord threatened you day and night unless you paid the rent the in next two days.
I am optimistic that if these reasons are given your friend would atleast give a second thought before even contacting your owner next tim
Tell him no becaus eyou want your apartment not his. And also tell him to stop asking the same question you have said no for already
ReplyDeleteKinda pushy, isn’t he.
ReplyDeleteIf you do not want to change apartments, then don’t. Be sure and tell the house owner, also.
First get a new friend. If this person continues to harass you, send a formal complaint to the owner/ manager of the harassment by this person. He is their problem.
ReplyDeleteYou send your landlord a thank you note and let him/her know that you have not intentions on leaving. Let them know how much you love the unit. Then be a good tenant.
ReplyDeleteThis person that wants you unit isn't a very good friend. I would highly recommend you don't have them over anymore.
Get back to the owner and between the 2 of you can figure the best way to handle this situation. Your friend is not your friend keep your distance he is not thinking straight. It is weird to have someone say I want your apartment and to think that it should happen.
ReplyDeleteWell, just know the real reason why your friend wants your apartment; there must be a reason behind it! If that reason is for a good benefit, then proceed; but not for unhealthy misuses!
ReplyDeleteSo called friend of your. Talk to him. Ask him why he can't understand a simple word that is “NO”. A NO is simply a NO.. Is it that hard to understand.
ReplyDeleteTell the home owner that your friend brought it up but you but you refused his offer. Tell the owner to ignore your “friend” because you have no intention of moving out.
ReplyDeleteI would thank my landlord for letting me know and to advise that I am not leaving and am very happy with my apartment.
ReplyDeleteThen call your friend and ask what on earth is he doing calling your landlord asking for your apartment when you already told him that you weren’t moving and that no he could not have your apartment and no again you are not willing to trade.
What is it about your apartment that makes it so special that he obviously desperately wants it? Is it in a building with other similar units as if yes, perhaps there is one available that he could move into and then stop badgering you and your landlord for your apartment.
What is there to do ? Nothing at all. He is not your friend, you are a fool to believe he is.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want their apartment don't swap. No offense meant but are you a botty thing that asks really stupid questions just to get a reaction from people like me?
ReplyDeleteShouldn't have bothered responding
Inform your house owner that you are not changing your apartment and you dont talk to that friend anymore.
ReplyDeleteTry to avoid your friend, looks like he is annoying you. Block his contacts and dont meet him.
Negotiatie favorable terms
ReplyDeleteCant really call that person your friend as he is looking to create trouble. Since he has contacted your house owner that means he badly wants ur aparrment. So weird. Simply say him if he continues doing it u will have no other option but to approach cops.
ReplyDeleteJust tell friend you are not yet leaving, when you decide to leave, you will let him know. In the meantime to stop the harassment. Thank owner for looking after your interest and confirm you are not looking to leave. Then ignore the friend.
ReplyDeleteNothing. It is your apartment and you are the legal renter, you can stay until your lease renewal expires. I’m glad your landlord stand up for you. Your so called friend can ask you to switch apartment until the cows come home but if you stand your ground, there is nothing he can do. If he continues with bullying and harassing behaviour, you and the landlord can file a complaint against him.
ReplyDeleteFile harrassment charges with the police this person is doing every thing for getting you booted out
ReplyDeleteJust make sure your landlord knows that you have no plans or desire to move.
ReplyDeleteTell the other person to back off. If he was really your friend, he would not be trying to get you evicted from a home you appear to be happy in.
U should call the homeowner and tell them u already told ur friend NO and ur not planning on moving , if the homeowner wants u to trade tell them u need a 30 day notice, then I would look for a new place in those 30 days away from both of these ppl
ReplyDeleteYou have a right to not be polite now, contact him and say, ‘Let me absolutely clear here, i have no plan to leave my apartment or swap it so please drop his or i can see our friendship being coming to an end.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like your friend is really a selfish person. So first thing you should be doing is asking yourself if you really need a friend like that. It's totally understandable that he may be likes your apartment and desperately wants it but once you said no, he should have moved on respecting your decision. But he has the audacity to call your house owner, which is unacceptable. If you said you cannot exchange the apartment, he should act like a grown up and find some other place. It's not like your apartment is the only apartment on this planet. Your friends actions shows that he is so desperate that he can go to any lengths to get what he wants even if that means hurting you. He doesn't care about you.
ReplyDeleteIt was a good thing that your home owner told you about what happened. Just meet your friend, tell him that you know what he did. Tell him that no matter what he does, you cannot exchange your apartment and that you would really appreciate it if he understands this and leaves you alone. Also make sure you distance yourself from him. There is no point wasting your time and energy behind someone like that. Let him know that incase you move out someday, you will definitely let him know about the apartment. But not anytime soon.
You don’t mention if you have told the friend you were thinking of moving or letting the apartment go.
ReplyDeleteIf you have, then that would explain the asking. You told the friend no and that should be the end of it. But, if you had mentioned possibly moving or some other grievance about it, and it would suit your friends position to be in it then asking the home/apt owner/lease agent about it and the desire to live there would not be out of line.
The house owner mentioned that you are not leaving “Yet” which implies you will leave so I am curious as to why this “Friend” should not have it????
What should you do? Nothing. It is not your place to rent places you don’t own, nor can you force the current owner/landlord to pick him over anyone else.
He spoke to the owner and expressed his/her desire. It is out of your hands as it was when he first asked you.
Let the homeowner deal with picking the candidates.
You simply firmly point out,you don’t appreciate him going to your landlord when you’d already said several times it’s a NO!!! .You are not leaving and don’t ask again ok.I thought it’s best to clear it up with you so you don’t persist,seeing as,like I’ve said no,so many times.
ReplyDeleteHopefully,that should do it.
I would get rid of this person who sounds underhanded. Going behind someone’s back and contacting your landlord sounds pretty shady to me. I speak from experience. Don’t make excuses for his/her bad behavior. Get real and dump this person…
ReplyDeleteTell him to get a life and to leave you alone.
ReplyDeleteIf your comfortable where you are and don't want to leave you damn sure don't have to and tell him to stop trying to bully you into it.
Tell your “friend” firmly that you are not leaving and have no interest in switching apartments with him/her. Tell this friend that you find it rude and bothersome that they would go over your head to your landlord to ask about getting your unit. Tell them firmly that if they continue in this matter, you will consider your friendship to be over and done with. Furthermore, inform your landlord that this person has aggressively been trying to gain possession of your unit and that you have no intention of leaving in the near future and that you do not wish the landlord to discuss your business with this person. Apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused your landlord and assure them that you will do your best to solve the issue. This “friend” seems to be no actual friend and instead seems to be an entitled jerk who is trying to do whatever they can to get their way despite what you feel and have to say about the matter. Personally, I would cut them out of my life and go on about my business. You do not need the aggravation, do you?
ReplyDeleteif your friend is insisting in yours,something is wrong with his apartment ��
ReplyDeleteThe area may not be a good one.people as well..landlord who knows how is he.
Look around and compare, both yours and his buildings outside and inside walls floors bathrooms closet space and bigger apartment his is small entrance on building private hallway clean, hey there are so called friends that are envious..if yours is way better don't some friends are narcissist and it's all about them ..thats not a real friend drop him like a hot potato if keep insisting no is NO!!
hello Melody,
ReplyDeletehe is not a friend because a friendship does not involve the continual asking of “exchange of apartments” and especially if you have said “no” already a few times. this is harassment already.
such request from somebody like that and after reading comments from others, you need to go into “full protection mode” and watch and observe your environment and your well-being.
by environment, see it metaphorically in all senses and make sure that nothing wary towards you and presumably those who live with you are not affected directly and indirectly by him. talk to them and work as a team to fend him off your neighbourhood boundaries. i don’t want you to be paranoid about it but be vigilant and document everything in a journal with date and time of anything suspicious.
if you live alone, do everything around people, in the daylight and in a well-lit areas.
hopefully you have raised this issue with the landlord by now and you have chosen not to interact with the so-called friend. maintain your guard up and seek some legal protections as well if you can afford them.
do some research first before forking out legal fees and costs.
i have seen his type countless of times and the best way to deal with them is be firm, assertive and employ the word “no” everytime you do not want to do anything with him.
thank you for reaching out and best of luck.
Hung
If you are under a contractual agreement with the owner and not breaking any of the clauses set by the owner, he cannot make you vacate the house till the end of the contract.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the contract, the owner has the choice to either renew the contract with the same or amended clauses, or ask you to hand over the apartment.
Since you are in physical possession of the apartment,he can only make force you to vacate with a court order.
Your friend has no hold over the apartment whatsoever.
Your owner said the right thing to him that you aren't leaving yet.
He’s not your friend. Terminate any communication with him. Tell your actual friends & acquaintances that you have taken this action & why.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a lease there is nothing they can do just because someone else wants your apartment…
ReplyDeleteStay put ! It’s between you and your house owner. Though, poke your friend and ask him / her the reason for trying to dispersing you.
ReplyDeleteGuess what. He's not your friend.
ReplyDeleteHe has mental issues.
You need a combination of physical strength and legal action. Not sure which country you're in, but that person might endanger your life. I'm not knowledgeable on this.
Tell the house owner what's been going on and that you are happy with your living arrangements. Tell your ex-friend to take a flying leap.
ReplyDeleteJust tell your landlord you will solve the problem and just please block him and you block and delete him from everywhere tell your landlord to do that if you guys are good it should solve the issue don't take too much tension when you feel it's more tension with no solution call the cops for harassment and then he will clearly understand but I'm sure blocking will help and ignoring too
ReplyDeleteI would thank the owner for telling him you're not moving. Tell him he will be the first to know after you should you decide to move in the future. And then just ignore all the rest of the drama he's creating. But if you see him you might want to tell him it's weird to go behind your back to the owner attempting to get your apartment from you after you already told him “no". And that you no longer considered see them a friend , but a manipulator and con man. And stop bothering you now.
ReplyDeleteYou know your Right, he is not your friend, a friend must respect his friend if he considers you a friend. If he continues doing that, you better seek Legal consultation, and for the owner, they must be firm and know how to protect you.
ReplyDeleteDO NOTHING !, just stay put. Your “friend” attempted to go behind your back and move in AND EVICT YOU. But that was bad trick to pull. He has been told what the status is, but I suspect he will continue to ask; when he does you can inform him that he already has that information, or tell him you will move immediately if he pays for your loss of a deposit and all costs to move plus 20% of the new apartments deposit. There is NO FREE LUNCH or CONVENIENCES just b/c he wants something. He can never be trusted again. Do tell him the landlord informed you of what he tried to do. HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND !
ReplyDeleteThat's not a friend, that is someone willing to ignore and violate your boundaries if it means getting what they want. They asked, you said no. That should have been the end if it, but instead they went behind your back to the owner. This isn't a small event. We aren't talking about borrowing a baking dish or asking you to give them your favorite blanket. This is your living situation. I see no reason to keep people like that in your life.
ReplyDeleteI would tell your landlord you're not leaving nor planning to any time soon. Make sure you block this so called friend and suggest your landlord do the same.
ReplyDeleteYou sit down with this so-called ‘friend’ and tell him to knock it off. If you wish, bring along some ‘muscle’ who can back you up if this ‘friend’ tries to argue. He cannot have your apartment, you’re not leaving your apartment, and he must stop harassing you and people around you. It is outrageous that he told your landlord he wants your apartment. Your ‘friend’ sounds like he has a screw loose, but that should not be enough to drive you out of your home.
ReplyDeleteSeems quite selfish to me. You need to invite him the 'F' out of your business! Then find a better friend!
ReplyDelete