Today is national honesty day. Every 30TH of April which is the last day of the month April we celebrate trustworthiness, openness, truthfulness, and frankness. This day was established in other to motivate people to not forget the importance of honesty.
National Honesty Day was created by M. Hirsh Goldberg while he was doing research for his book: “The Book of Lies: Schemes, Scams, Fakes, and Frauds That Have Changed the Course of History and Affect Our Daily Lives.” in 1991. While some critics say that he coined this holiday to sell more books, Mr. Goldberg has stated that he created the holiday to serve as a contrast to April Fool’s Day.
National Honesty Day was created by M. Hirsh Goldberg while he was doing research for his book: “The Book of Lies: Schemes, Scams, Fakes, and Frauds That Have Changed the Course of History and Affect Our Daily Lives.” in 1991. While some critics say that he coined this holiday to sell more books, Mr. Goldberg has stated that he created the holiday to serve as a contrast to April Fool’s Day.
How to participate
The whole truth and nothing but the truth is one of the most difficult acts for humans to perform, and the question today is why do people find it very difficult, to be honest?
Photo by Sora Shimazaki from Pexels
If other people are dishonest you lose by being honest
ReplyDeleteIt becomes difficult to be honest if your intention is to prove to others that you are an honest person.
ReplyDeleteWhen a person tries to be honest for their own sake, does it willingly and not under any form of compulsion, they will start loving that process and derive happiness in being honest.
People are as honest as it’s socially expedient to be.
ReplyDeleteWhich means if the people around them are being honest, they’ll join in but if they’re being dishonest then they’ll be dishonest too.
Most people don’t value truth for it’s own sake; they lie or tell the truth according to what will benefit them the most at any given moment.
They fear the consequences of what will happen . if they are use to being punished .
ReplyDeleteI think in some instances ut’s their choice and in some they have psychological problems that they might both be aware or unaware of.
ReplyDeleteBecouse they ain't got a backbone, and rather lie an make shit up and talk about you behind your back !!
ReplyDeleteSome people feel compelled to respond to everything, as if they're being interrogated; some feel a need to be more than they are in reality; some people engage in deception.
ReplyDeleteInquisition Reaction: For any one or more of a variety of reasons, abuse, trauma, duress, coercion, or other trauma due to psychological torture, some people feel they must produce information about themselves or their lives, even when they do not want to disclose, let alone discuss, themselves, one has to respond to something they consider private. They'll lie if they feel forced to produce.
Inferiority Reaction: Some people feel they have no accomplishments or experiences to bring to the table. This, at least in my view, is untrue; everyone has a different seat in the bleachers, thus unique perspectives. That said, this is often triggered by the result of the arrogance, biases, class-conscience, or expectations of the audience. Some people can't help reacting this way, and once they resent the interaction, it's gonna be game on. To be fair, it is hilarious to know this is happening [I can tell sometimes] and watch judgmental assholes get offended by the sensational statements some pissed-off people will throw out there if they have nothing else to lose in that interaction. [My personal favorite pissed statement in response to questions about my college education: “I dropped out of the 10th grade. Is that a problem for you? ��” — ��]
Deceptive Reaction: Some people have a goal. That goal is not to tell you the truth.
Honest Processing: Some people are still processing, and in the course of their effort, they are likely to make statements that indicate dishonesty, but in fact is not dishonest—they are either only partially verbalizing thoughts for feedback and additional processing. Some people actually *honestly* are capable of updating their views based on what they learn from discussions with others, which are imperative to fleshing out views they have not previously given enough thought to form a full view or position. [This is how I learn, and it is amazing what I have learned simply throwing an idea or position out for response—an honest idea, with the caveat that I don't know much or have little basis on which to form a stronger or more accurate idea.]
Now, important to note this last, having given the above basic overview of why people feel they cannot be honest: what makes you believe they are being dishonest? Unless you are investigating every claim every person with whom you interact shares with you, you have no idea. You can make this statement once you have verified that a given claim is in fact dishonest. You cannot do this. Most people cannot do this.
Best to apply Occam's Razor to your interpersonal life, until or unless you identify concrete contradictions or you have facts sufficient to demonstrate dishonesty. This is a dangerous world, but you can miss many of those dangers just as easily when you automatically assume that people are dishonest. Whether or not you encounter those hidden dangers, the other hidden danger is this: you will drive yourself insane trying to analyze everyone with whom you come into contact.
That's a very complicated question. Fear. Betrayal. Ridicule. Safety. Duality. Ego. Greed. Plus “honest" is a relevant term with a slippery slope (open to interpretation)
ReplyDeleteFear of judgment. Which is understandable due to society today.
ReplyDeleteBecause I think in this life at least, in America, there’s so much deception connected with sales that we think that’s the only way. We are talk to Amber farm for acceptance and this is part of the problem. People need to accept and that they there will be no need to perform.
ReplyDeleteThis is not how society works for everyone's best interests and some individuals best interests we lie , several times a day about almost everything as we get older they're still lies but about different things . If we could stop big businesses from doing that the planet would be much better off than it is at the moment but that's about money and that's a powerful driving force behind those lies .
ReplyDeleteIt's not hard, they choose not to be. If it bothers you that a person is not giving you the information you want. You can always not interact with that person.
ReplyDeleteCause people will rather believe a lie than to be honest. They will rather tell you a lie than the truth. Stay safe and take care ��
ReplyDeletePeople don't seem to have the same morals anymore. With the internet and mobile phones it is so easy to lie and cheat now. Or possibly they are caught out in their lies more easily now.
ReplyDeleteBecause honesty requires bravery, and most humans are cowards.
ReplyDeleteThey are ashamed of their true self
ReplyDeletePerceived vulnerability
Don’t know themselves
They want to portray an image, and the honest image is not seen as cool by society
They just like lying and the possible drama that comes with it
They can’t handle the truth
Cause you choose to be dishonest that's why you can't be honest.
ReplyDeleteSimple!
ReplyDeleteBecause, it is no more a legal tender in most areas of the society except in very, very few places. That is why.
All the best.
Lack of trust. Fear of being hurt. Used to lying so much that their conscience are gone.
ReplyDeleteOnly through the right, purposeful and highly practical education, that can explain to us, make us feel how destructive, harmful our inherently self-serving, self-justifying, exploitative, individualistic nature is in the globally integrated, interdependent world we evolved into, and can also give us the tools to adapt ourselves to our evolutionary conditions by changing, upgrading our inherent nature.
ReplyDeleteIt isn’t. Idiots think they can get hold of more money by being dishonest. Honest people don’t find it the least bit hard - they’d find it MUCH harder, to find ways to be dishonest.
ReplyDeleteAnd the folk in the middle are honest most of the time, but they do yield to temptation some of the time. Especially when regulatory authorities fall asleep on the job and nothing happens to them when they ARE dishonest. But boy do they squeal, if they’re caught!
I don’t get this either. I’m too honest but I guess from experience you can’t be too honest. I only tend to be honest towards my family because of that boundary. But when it comes to work, and random strangers, they don’t want to hear it. Hold your tongue for the right setting to speak out. I learned that the hard way and still learning
ReplyDeleteBeing honest is often more work
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that there is a correct answer, but opinions well… you know whats said about opinions..The best that I can ascertain is the one lying, is hiding something,Has mo respect gir themsrlves,themselves, must think that id be foolish enough to believe the lie or anything else that's said from lie #1 is subject to being picked apart questioned #well told to get out of my life. Liars and thrives aren't welcome here
ReplyDeleteStop talking to those who are. There are more honest people than dishonest. Learn to decipher the liar from the righteous. There’s a great difference that awaits.
ReplyDeleteWell, I can’t speak for the entire world (I’ve only visited countries outside the US), but I can speak for US/Yankee culture.
ReplyDeleteThe root cause is sales/retail culture, and competition for securing a livelihood.
Because US society is deeply rooted in private sector sales culture, it’s very competitive. Even as a common retail clerk, you have to put on a fake smile and fake happy demeanor to attract customers, which equals profit. If you’re not smiling enough, management picks at you, or a coworker who is more competitive will throw you under the bus.
Given that, trust is a rarity in US culture. Even among those who are successful and don’t have to worry about their position, they’re always worried someone is going to try to take it from them.
Usually in the US when someone is trying to get something out of you, they do it with a smile and some well-plotted sob story or are charming and manipulative enough to make their concern sound genuine, like they have your best interests at heart… and once they have what they want, drop you like garbage.
Usually those who are honest in US culture are seen as naive targets for exploitation - that you trust too easily. Others are put-off by it because they feel that honesty is stronger than their false facade, and someone who is honest will eventually expose them for who they really are.
Sadly, that’s the world/country we live in. We’re in extremely chaotic and paranoid times, where even the most honest person is questioned for their true intentions because the liars can so well use the mask of honesty to hide their real intentions. That, or people are so afraid of their own honesty being used against them - that if you don’t fit into X societal box, you’ll lose your job, friends, etc.
Sometimes I love to be as honest as possible anyway - for two reasons: 1. I have integrity and don’t care for the opinions of others, and 2. Because I love messing with people when I do something genuinely kind and don’t ask for anything in return.
Hope this is a helpful explanation.
Many reasons. A lot comes from poor examples from caregivers. The other may come from a lack of confidence in whom one is, so they attempt to hide it by dishonesty. The person is ashamed of themselves, so they try to portray whomever it seems that you will like better. Isn’t that pittiful?
ReplyDeleteBecause everybody in this world is looking for approval or acceptance in one way or another.
ReplyDeleteweather it be your friends, your family or your boss, it may even be your neighbors.
the want to be looked upon favourably to your peers, takes over your rational thoughts and you want to impress people with who you are.
you hide the house hold stresses or the chaos at work, or your financial situation.
people that have a lack of self esteem and a lack of confidence in themselves or aren’t happy with there own life, will believe if they aren’t happy than no one will like them, so they pretend day by day.
they are only kidding themselves and will not find true peace or happiness in this world. There to worried about what others think to care for themselves.
I'd suggest that truth is subjective, as are shades and slices of truth.
ReplyDeleteHear me out….
You are obviously talking about “human interaction truths”, and that is solely objective. What one person sees as a tiny white lie, another sees as an abomination towards betrayal. Each instance of what can be seen as a lie by one person, another may see it as their truth. That doesn't even take into account the experiences of people which determines their beliefs and values towards how they protect their vulnerabilities. Considering this, some people “lie” out of pure protection towards what they perceive as a threat.
The trick is to look at your perception of lies. Why do you expect others to be honest within your definition of honesty? Why is the set of conditions that you believe are “true” what you except others to see the same way?
Maybe your perception of your own angst regarding the actions of others and your beliefs is what is the cause. It's the gap between your own beliefs and values and what you think their actions mean?
What if you didn't make your belief of someone else not being honest as having anything to do with you?
What if what they chose to do (lie instead of expressing honestly) was about them solely?
If you thought or believed it, would it ease your concern?
Consider it. Then, either continue the practice or discard it. Your choice, choose wisely.
Some are guarded because they have earned hurt by being honest. Others are simply manipulative. And yet other times, the other person may not be ready for their honesty. These are really intelligent people !
ReplyDeleteWhen honesty is hard it can mean different things like 1. Fear of hurting someone 2.fear of rejection 3. Denial of self.
ReplyDeletePlausible Deniability, people think that if you can’t prove they’re lying that it isn’t a lie. Just because someone doesn’t have concrete proof or an admission of guilt doesn’t mean their lies are unknown. They are still liars and believe me, every lie people tell will have to be accounted for and the truth will always out. What is done in the dark, always comes to the light.
ReplyDeleteI ask that same question myself. They must have a better memory than I do, that's how I'd get caught, not remembering my story.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't hard for people to be honest. It's actually harder for people to lie. Some just haven't figured that out yet.
ReplyDeleteHope this helps.
Best regards to you.��
Dana Luha
It has to first correctly address their relationship with you & deal with overcoming issues of trust.
ReplyDeleteBecause people are cowards these days. It takes courage to be honest
ReplyDeleteBecause honesty often hurts.
ReplyDeleteIn a literal sense if you are honest at say a supermarket, they give you too much change and you need to be honest and give the overpayment back - it hurts.
Self honesty is the most hurtful of all. Realising the world does not revolve around us is painful. Realising we are not as intelligent as we think we are is painful. Realising we have to self-discipline our desires to save earths ecology hurts.
Some truths will cause more harm than good so many people opt to stray away from being honest.
ReplyDeleteThe first step towards setting boundaries has to do with listening to me, being connected to myself, being clear on what I want. Boundaries are identity.
ReplyDeleteWhen I set good boundaries and protect them - recognizing all the while that the best boundaries are elastic - I show myself I can trust me. I prove to me I will stand up for me. Boundaries are self-respect, self-esteem and confidence. Boundaries are self-love.
When my limits are clear, my relationships are healthier. Boundaries improve my ability to relate to others.
When others can see and respect my boundaries, I feel less anger, less bitterness, less resentment, less disappointment. Boundaries are peace and happiness.
My time, my energy, my body and my things are protected and safe, and I can use all these things in a more deliberate way rather than squandering them on things I am not really interested in doing. Boundaries are purpose.
Very few, few, people are honest in all things.
ReplyDeleteIF most people spend their time scheming, on how to bypass the laws that are common to all, how do you deal with these flagrant law breakers? If you mingle with them, then soon you are going to be like them. If you do not, then you are also very constrained. You are like a solitary bird on the roof of a house.
The actual temptation to release yourself from these constraints, which actually serve for your honesty, can be your downfall. So it´s not easy to remain honest. The pressure that sits on everyone on this earth to be dishonest is obvious.
Your question is a good one. It merits a lot of importance. Most people do not ask it. Why?
Are they too busy being dishonest?
Good question.
ReplyDeleteI believe that they are insecure, and somewhat jealous.
I don't really understand fully. Many reasons for this behavior. ����
People have trouble being honest because media has warped there perception into being afraid of themselves and afraid of there own brain they have went so far as to got everyone believing that if you have emotions you are mentally unstable and dangerous and that is fucking bullshit seriously it is i mean look around people wecall have emotions and I dont feel like you should b afraid of your own self or your own mind think freely think for yourself dont b a slave never bow to no man ever like ever even if they have a gun in your face dont bow tell em to do the favor because that is what a good firm strong minded individual free thinking human being with his own personal beliefs would do
ReplyDeleteHuman nature.
ReplyDeleteThere are times I believe the old saying, “some people refuse to believe that others want the best for them” but refuse any good advice perhaps because they never thought of it before.
ReplyDeleteI don’t begin to understand the psychic of a narcissist’s mind because their lies are all they know.
As a child, there was a point that I believe what our mother and father told us was the truth about being so wise and smart but in truth, they were ignorant and truly believe their ignorance kept them happy.
What disturbed me is to see the lies unfold in front of my eyes like a 7-year-old and seeing my father who took us out for a lovely Italian meal at this classy place called “Caruso.” After we had our dinner and the waiter left the check to pay up, he looked around his coat, and back pocket of his coat and told him he misplaced his wallet?
I was young and bowed my head in shame for not having his wallet with him and in which I didn’t believe him at all. I don’t know what happened after that since I was too embarrassed for my family sitting there and my mother not having money to pay for our meals either.
These two individuals had jobs and still lie to get away from doing the proper thing which is to pay for service rendered. They felt if they can get away with a free meal with children at hand the restaurant or any institution would be embarrassed to insult their customers in front of others.
Because in practice, most people do not want other people to be “that honest”. It hurts their feelings.
ReplyDeleteBecause the person they lie to the most is themselves, creating false affirmations such as “I am happy" and “I am not lonely.” Being honest requires harsh truth for ones self and others, sometimes they struggle with traits that they do not like in themselves. Lying is sometimes used as a defense mechanism to avoid pain or being uncomfortable. Each person possess's a different perspective so the reasons can vary as well.
ReplyDeleteBecause for some people,they e gone thru their whole life being dishonest and deceitful and they don’t know any other way. It has gotten them this far being that way . Little do they know that the consequences our creator has for them are massive.
ReplyDeleteCost
ReplyDeleteMaybe they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?
ReplyDeleteMaybe they want to fit in?
Maybe they don’t want to share the truth?
Only one answer really
ReplyDeletepeople who lie are self serving , it’s not in there best interests to be honest , or so they think !
People who find it hard to be honest are selfish