Boundaries are directives and guidelines that tell others how we want to be treated. It is very important that we set boundaries in life. Setting boundaries is not an easy task and requires much effort because when doing this you can get misunderstood but there are benefits of setting boundaries which include assertiveness, less negative energy, anger, and resentment, a great space to nurse happiness which brings about a feeling of peace and safety.
1. Authentic Relationships.
2. Your Mental health.
3. Preventing Resentment.
4. Your needs get met.
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Question: Why should people set boundaries?
Your mental safety.
ReplyDeletePersonal and emotional safety
ReplyDeleteIt keeps away Unnecessary people who bring zero value to your life.
ReplyDeleteGreat cause they know where they stand with you.
ReplyDeleteIf you don’t set boundaries for/upon what is acceptable, or Not Acceptable, then others will set them for you; for their benefit, not yours!
ReplyDeleteThose with power and vast riches, who try to control everything, should be perceived as living in Fear that they are ‘not enough, just as they are’ and so try to get ever more of everything, in a fruitless search that they can never win. Their Belief will always have them believing that they still don’t have enough. They likely set no boundaries!
By you setting your own boundaries, you take some available control over at least parts of your life; none of us can possibly control most things!
Some control over some things is likely the best any of us can do!
Realizing what you cannot control, or set boundaries upon, is a Great gift!
You know how much grass you need to cut. And others know how to treat you. Use the Day.
ReplyDeleteFeeling respected and secure
ReplyDeleteThis one sat here and now has found that setting boundaries for self and others benefits both self and others. For example this one has been married for over 37 years, most of that has been, for my part, a people pleaser to the suppression of self. My conditioning that all worth, love and value came from others and their experiences of me.That as long as I was doing what I thought they wanted of me and was good enough I would be accepted. This ones husband has been used to his needs coming first, tea at certain times, lunch made for him etc. As that was how this one perceived ones role. Since therapy and awakening that is no longer the case, this one kindly explained that sometimes what this one is engaged in is not going to be stopped to make his lunch when he is quite capable of making his own. That is this ones boundary in that a kind no is allowable and managing his expectation and giving him a lesson in self reliance. A boundary for him to now consider this ones time for self. This ones happiness is no longer dependant on him, that this one chooses to do things now without expectation or anticipation of any thing in return. The upside is that he is now more grateful for the things done by this one for the benefit of self and family and more respectful of the space this one inhabits.
ReplyDeleteBoundaries let your partner or friend know ahead of time where you’re not comfortable. For example, I had a friend who moved her girlfriend in with us, but before she did I told her blatantly I don’t want drugs in my house, period. They went on vacation and I smelled weed in their room. When confronted about it, they lied. Needless to say they crossed that boundary and we kicked the girlfriend out, and the friend left with her.
ReplyDeleteeverybody knows their roles, to avoid blaming each other
ReplyDeleteSetting boundaries is protecting your energy. People will be drawn to you because they know you're a healer, they feel good to be around you but not everyone will be worth your energy. Some people will just drain your energy leaving you feeling it's your responsibility to help them and not even expecting a thanks. Remember you can keep others happy only when you are happy. Set boundaries. Recognise who drain your energy. Allow limited people to be with you, who understand you, who understand that you also need solitude to recharge yourself and also that you might need other people to heal.
ReplyDeleteThey allow you, surprisingly, to become closer to people. Once you have set a boundary, you don’t have to worry so much about being taken advantage of.
ReplyDeleteThe benefits of setting boundaries are two-fold. That is, to the boundary setter and those who become subject to the boundaries. Why? Because people you know need to know how to understand you and your parameters of behavioral acceptance in your relationship. If you are non-communicative in these areas, they will feel uncomfortable. If you keep your distance, they won’t know where you are coming from in common matters. Bonding will be difficult. Don’t be afraid that people won’t accept you if you voice your values. I know people who are very opinionated and voice their opinions and values loudly for all to hear. I don’t dislike them. I don’t always agree with them but I accept them for what they represent. Believe it, you’ll get a lot more respect if you tell people, in a respective matter, what your boundaries are.
ReplyDeleteThanks Melody for asking a good question.
ReplyDeleteMy personal experience in this regards allows me the to highlight following main points, in addition to what the given links offer:
Setting boundaries offer you more space;
It helps keep majority of ‘troubles’ at distance;
It provides more time to ponder and work out a solution in case of an issue;
You become more observant;
That helps you talk less and listen more when that is needed;
Your emotional input is improved where is needed more.
To live is a civilised countries boundaries must be in place. That is why we have the law. If we did not have laws there would be civil chaos, murders, burglaries, verbal.physical sexual abuse.etc. We also have to make our own boundaries in how we treat people and boundaries on what we tell people etc. When you stick within your boundaries you have a freedom in your spirit. Whe people obey laws you can have order and peace.
ReplyDeleteIdeally, it warns people when and where to stop their bullshit.
ReplyDeletePreserving your energy. Keeping strong. Being in volatile. Respect. Success. Good sleep. Confidence….if that's not enough, there is more.
ReplyDeleteConsider this: boundaries help Life be more simple and more stress-free. It helps you to be true to yourself without stepping on other people’s toes and it helps them not step on your toes because boundaries are being sad.
ReplyDeleteI used to be an avid people pleaser myself. It stemmed from my mother’s abuse (mostly emotional and somewhat physical). She has a mental illness with a delusion system relating to the dark side of Christianity. She would often do things like mistake my impatient for deliberate rudeness, she would hit me for things like bursting into tears and not being able to explain why (as if she thought that I was crying for its own sake, which I think she did) and mistake my childish quirks for demonic possession. She’d also invalidate me more often than not-except, for ex, if the reason I was upset was obvious to her. With the way she’d act, I might as well have woken up everyday with a full list with a title of How to Go Against Mom Today. And what 4–8-year-old does that?
ReplyDeleteFrom there, I basically went through life believing that my only real purpose was to please everyone possible. And then I didn’t understand why I was getting snubbed and taken advantage of so much. Or why people seemed to be so confused when it came to me all the time. I knew what felt right to me and what didn’t, I just believed that I ALWAYS had to put other people first no matter what. It felt VERY wrong to me not to. Until a so-called “friend” of mine (who I befriended for the wrong reasons in the first place) started stepping on my toes and that of everyone who would listen to her and I finally had to let her go.
So where can I possibly start with the benefits of setting boundaries? ��
They prevent misunderstandings, confusion and imbalances. They prevent people from treating you as less than human. They can even prevent diseases such as heart disease or stroke, both of which are known to result from constant high stress.
Yes, it’ll make some people mad. Especially if you set one that involves ending the relationship that you have with them. I didn’t know until my addiction/abuse recovery coach training that it’s because they think you’re doing it to exclude and punish them and don’t-or won’t-see that you’re actually doing it for your own good. But it’s MUCH better for people-including and maybe especially those who make an enemy out of you as a result-to know where YOU stand than to think that they can just continue walking all over you and not treat you like a person.
We all need and have our space, we’re not a public property. Some aren’t that in tune with themselves to even be aware of what the are. But they do feel a sense of being burdened or crowded at times. And often complain about being “taken advantage of”. So it’s best to figure out what they are and stand up for them. It’s better to do it that way, than to build a wall of resentment for others.
ReplyDeletePeace and clarity are the biggest benefits of setting boundaries.
ReplyDeleteBoundaries help you realize the difference between who actually cares for you and who just gets paid to care about you.
Boundaries helps you from wasting time on the wrong people.
Boundaries helps you to find the right people. Good people.
Boundaries works to make the right people appreciate you.
Believe it or not, setting boundaries can set you free.
Hope this helps.
Best regards to you.��
Dana Luha
Boundaries prohibits others from infringing in ones life where they have no right. I learned the value of boundaries after I was attacked in my home.
ReplyDelete