When it comes to shoe shopping, some people can complete the transaction in five minutes and be completely satisfied. For others, it will take several days of reading reviews, comparing prices, deliberating, and deliberating some more before making a decision.
Alternatively, not.
People may desire to make a choice, but fear of making the wrong one or missing out on a better deal gets in the way. The impending holiday gift-giving season adds to the pressure.
"Deciding is a difficult task," says Dr. Soo Jeong Youn, a clinical psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
We're constantly making choices about what to wear and what to eat. It can also feel agonizing, if not paralyzing because we do not always have all the information, and the brain fills in the gaps with worst-case scenarios, which does nothing to alleviate the stress.
Can we improve our decision-making abilities? Yes, in a nutshell. It requires organization, but also a shift in mindset in which we acknowledge that there is no perfect choice. But first, it's worthwhile to consider why decision-making can be so difficult.
Being aware of what to anticipate
Not all choices result in the same level of stress. Significant ones, such as changing jobs or purchasing a home, are taken into account, as we would expect. Daily choices, such as our morning coffee order or grocery shopping, are frequently automatic. And, in most cases, the prefrontal cortex is in command. That is the area of the brain behind the brow that is responsible for executive functioning skills — a term coined by Youn to describe the complexity of thought. The prefrontal cortex integrates information from throughout the brain in order to make a choice.
It's the midlevel decisions that become problematic — the new bike, winter jacket, toaster, or shoes. Although these are not large purchases, because they are not made on a regular basis, we can spend more time weighing cost versus benefit.
The limbic system takes over from the prefrontal cortex. It is the brain's fight-or-flight response, and there is no careful weighing of factors. The objective is straightforward: survival, and it can lead us to make a less-than-optimal choice simply to end the decision-making process — or to avoid the situation entirely by doing nothing, she explains.
That is not always our intention. We want to make the best choice possible, but there is frequently something else at play, namely expectations. It has to do with how we are perceived and how much we are worth. If it's a present, we're concerned about whether it adequately expresses our emotions. As Youn puts it, "that choice is not solely about that choice."
And beneath it, all is the fear and regret that you chose the incorrect path.
Focus your efforts
Often, people enter a purchase without a clear understanding of what they require. Is the item being purchased for warmth, durability, exercise, or fashion? Is it required to have unique characteristics? Do you require it immediately? By defining a scope, we can refer back to it and ask, "Does this fit with my purpose?" Without parameters, on the other hand, we spend more time and energy making decisions and sometimes continue looking for the "perfect" thing.
"We want this to check all the boxes, despite the fact that we haven't defined what those boxes are," she explains.
For some, the challenge is in making the choice, but once made, the stress is gone. However, for others, the fear persists: the limbic system remains activated, which is when regret or buyer's remorse sets in. Youn advises treating it similarly to that persistent song in your head and giving it some attention.
Examine the concern and give it a name. If you're concerned about missing out on something, consider the following: "Why is that significant?" And then, with each assumption, inquire, "And then what?" The process may dilute the magnitude of something's actual significance. If that fails and you're concerned about missing out on a better deal, conduct some research. Whatever the outcome, even if it is not favorable to you, take it as a lesson for your next decision.
Concentrate on routines
Making new choices requires energy. That is why routines are beneficial; they eliminate the uncertainty associated with deciding what to do in the morning or how to get to work. Utilize prior knowledge whenever possible, Youn advises, rather than constantly reinventing the wheel. If you enjoy a pair of sneakers, there is no reason why you cannot repurchase them if your needs have not changed.
If they have, re-examine only the novel components, not the known ones. Furthermore, if you find yourself stuck in the evaluation process, ask yourself, "Is this worth my time?" The question elicits a pause, reintroduces you to the present moment, and enables you to decide how to proceed.
Additional research will not aid in decision-making or decision regret.
It's beneficial to keep in mind that when we conduct research, we reach a point where we've seen everything. Indeed, increased information overload occurs. What helps is to eliminate as many options as possible. Perhaps begin with ten, but quickly reduced to five, three, and finally, two to compare before deciding on a winner. Additionally, you can assist yourself by setting a timer on your phone and allowing yourself a specified number of minutes to make a choice. Occasionally, that self-imposed deadline helps us stay on track and move on to the next decision.
However, there is always the possibility of a nagging feeling that there is more to learn. In reality, there is none, and we cannot and do not need to know everything — and that is perfectly fine. "It is an illusion," Youn states.
Information source: Harvard Health.
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