You can become more adept at managing challenging conversations by cultivating the ability to listen to others and recognize their experiences and perspectives.
Validation is a way to make people feel heard and understood, especially in emotionally charged situations. Even if you disagree with someone, validating them means you acknowledge their feelings and perspective. This builds trust and makes the other person feel supported, making it easier to find solutions together.
But many people struggle with validation. They might try to validate someone but then immediately jump into problem-solving or giving advice. This doesn't allow the validation to sink in. It's like putting on anti-itch cream and immediately washing it off.
Here are some tips for offering validation:
1. Give your full attention.
2. Make eye contact and show interest with nods and "uh huh."
3. Repeat what you've heard to show that you understand.
4. Verbalize their unspoken feelings or frustrations.
5. Give it time to sink in before trying to solve the problem.
Validating someone doesn't mean you condone their bad behavior. It's about acknowledging their feelings in the moment. By doing this, you can prevent them from making poor decisions and actually encourage better choices.
When validating teenagers, use similar tactics. They might already have some validation skills, but it may take time for them to fully grasp it.
In professional or personal relationships with adults, the same approach applies. Validate their feelings and perspectives, even if you have a different opinion. Pay attention to their body language and wait for them to calm down before offering solutions.
Remember to be patient and give people time to feel validated. Rushing the process can hinder problem-solving. By allowing them to feel understood, they are more likely to take ownership of the problem and find a resolution themselves.
