In my previous post, I mentioned it would be my last, but when I came across this news today, I felt compelled to share my thoughts.
For every country I have lived in, visiting restaurants has been one of the fun things I enjoyed doing. Never have I been obligated to give tips. Even in Ukraine, where I really enjoyed the services when I went out, I was never obligated or talked down to by a delivery person or server to give tips. I did it at will. The same applies to my country, Hungary, and here in the UK. However, I know experiences can differ from person to person.
When my friend traveled to America, she told me that waiters and servers gave her bad looks and even asked her to tip them. She was about to leave a restaurant, and a waiter asked her outright, “Where is my tip?” I was shocked when she said this happened several times in different places. I kept wondering: how are waiters allowed to harass customers like this and get away with it?
I’m not sure about the laws in America regarding tipping, but the broad understanding is that tips are given as a way for customers to appreciate good service, purely by choice. There is no obligation.
Today, while browsing through Instagram, I came across news about a case I’d heard about before, but now I got the full details. Seeing the face of the lady who stabbed another human being over a $2 tip was shocking. According to the story in the media, she made a delivery to someone staying in a motel and was tipped $2. She left but returned later with a man, forced their way into the person’s room, and stabbed the person several times.
The stabbed woman found out she was pregnant while receiving treatment in the hospital, according to NBC news. The 22-year-old woman who carried out the stabbing is facing charges of attempted murder.
This tragic incident highlights a deeper issue within society, particularly among the youth. The sense of entitlement and lack of accountability have led to behaviors that are both alarming and destructive. How do you justify harming someone over a personal choice like tipping?
People who take delivery or service jobs made that choice—no one forced them. Even if someone felt compelled by circumstances, they still chose to work because only those of working age are allowed to do such jobs. Whether it’s a well-paying job or not, everyone is navigating this tough economy. We’re all struggling, so there’s no excuse for entitlement.
There are many things that some waiters, servers, and delivery people fail to acknowledge as adults:
Not everyone picking up a delivery is ordering for themselves. Some are collecting food for someone else who didn’t include a tip because it’s not mandatory.
Some people are sick, elderly, or barely surviving on pensions. They may only order food occasionally to avoid cooking, but they simply don’t have extra money to give as a tip.
Some people just don’t want to give a tip—and that’s perfectly fine.
Entitlement is the root of greed. Expecting people to keep money aside for you breeds a mindset that could lead to theft and, as seen in this case, even violence. Greed and entitlement together are a dangerous mix.
Some people genuinely can’t afford to tip. Times are hard, and not everyone has the luxury of extra cash.
Some people are simply having a bad day. They might not be in the mood to give anything, and that’s okay.
Tipping culture varies across countries. In some cultures, tipping is not expected or common practice. Expecting everyone to follow the same rules is unreasonable.
The cost of the service is already included for some people. Some assume that when they pay for their meal or delivery, the full cost, including service, is already covered.
A tip is a reward, not an entitlement. It should be seen as a bonus for exceptional service, not something owed simply because someone is doing their job.
Respect for customers is key. Harassing or shaming someone for not tipping doesn’t win you sympathy; it pushes people away and creates a hostile environment.
There are people who haven't had pizza or something for months, and maybe it's their birthday, and they want to treat themselves to the little they have.
Now, before anyone starts blaming mental illness, this is a grown adult who knew exactly what she was doing. This wasn’t about mental health—this was greed, entitlement, wickedness, and cruelty, plain and simple. Society needs to stop making excuses. Nobody’s life is perfect. We’re all facing challenges in this world, and every path we take comes with consequences, good or bad.
This behavior is a pure reflection of greed, entitlement, wickedness, and a lack of basic humanity. I hope the victim gets the justice they deserve because what kind of world are we living in? Imagine ordering food, and someone stabs you because they weren’t happy with their tip. It’s madness.
I know many parents are doing their best, but this is a reminder to guide your children diligently. Put in the effort during their formative years, when you can still shape their character and instill good values. Keep an eye on their friends, the places they visit, and their activities. While you can’t always be with them, your influence during childhood and adolescence can make a lasting impact. Even when they become adults, your guidance and support remain important. Without proper upbringing, children may fall into harmful influences or follow misguided societal standards. The consequences of these choices can be severe and life-altering.
This reminds me of what the Bible says about the end times. In 2 Timothy 3:1–5, it warns:
"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."
Also, in Matthew 24:12, it says, Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold."
These are sobering reminders of the state of the world today and where we may be headed. Let’s take a moment to reflect on our actions, realign our values, and strive for a better humanity—one where respect, kindness, and accountability guide our behavior.
Photo by Norma Mortenson
Se non ricordo male in America dare la mancia è considerato una cosa ovvia, addirittura ci sono dei ristoranti dove la mettono direttamente nel conto.
ReplyDeleteEsempio 100 dollari di cena e 10% fisso di mancia.
Non ho però idea da dove nasca questa consuetudine.
I’ve been to a restaurant where they add the tip as part of the total charge, and I paid but never went back. My reason is simple: tipping should be a choice, something you do out of your own free will and what you can afford, especially if you’ve already paid for your food. If a restaurant openly states that tipping is included in the total payment, then it's part of their business, and you know what you're getting into. However, most places I’ve visited have always made tipping optional, and it's never added automatically like you mentioned.
DeleteEven with services like Uber Eats, tipping is a choice because you already pay for the items at a higher price, as well as for the delivery. No one should ever feel pressured or “stabbed” for not giving a tip—that's just wrong, and anyone who does that should be held accountable.
In effetti la mancia nasce come una scelta... Se mi sono trovato bene e il servizio mi ha soddisfatto lascio la mancia.
DeleteLo scopo di fatto dovrebbe proprio essere quello di avere come risultato un servizio migliore
Hi Melody, I am shocked because here in my country Portugal, we only give tips if we want to, and the service provided was good, it is not an obligation, but a question of good manners. This type of attitude only demonstrates the lack of empathy of certain societies and their way of acting and thinking, which is not at all what I am used to, at least in my country, and in several countries that I have visited in Europe and Asia.
ReplyDeleteI loved to be here.
Many Light.
AnaMaria
Olá, querida amiga Melody!
ReplyDeleteTodo lugar que vamos (até na praia nos quiosques), já vem embutida a gorjeta na nota ao final - dez por cento do total.
Eles vivem disso, os garçons. Passa a ser mais do que o próprio salário.
Tenha dias abençoados!
Beijinhos
I’m in California and I’ve seen it all, from one extreme to the next. The bigger cities you do find that elitism - where the tip is automatically added on. In rural California where I’m now living, you tip if you want. We get no dirty looks or anything. It’s now law here in Ca that fast food workers, In McDonald’s etc get $20 an hour now, whereas restaurant servers do not which might be one reason they get snarky in the bigger cities with little to no tip - which of course does not justify their behavior.
ReplyDeleteWe live in fallen world and it becomes apparent in the many ways people treat others. It’s all about “them” and “their needs”. Really sad.
This was interesting Melody. Keep spreading the Word!
Por lo general en mi pais damos propinas cuando queremos y en algunos sitios otros no. Pero esa cultura se va muriendo. No conocía ese caso pero si conocía el caso de un influencer que por recibir clics dio una propina de 3000 mil dólares para luego cancelarla cuando ya salió en sus redes y recibió elogios. Te mando un beso y te deseo un feliz año.
ReplyDeleteIo non mi sento in dovere di dare la mancia, i camerieri sono già pagati per ciò che fanno. Saluti, buon anno.
ReplyDeleteUn'usanza che assume aspetti diversi, a seconda del paese che prendiamo i considerazione.
ReplyDeleteBuon anno
Hola! en Estados unidos la propina forma parte del salario de los camareros porque tienen sueldos muy bajos, ahora no sé si es el 10 o el 20% de la factura.
ReplyDelete