The Quiet Ache of What Could Have Been

Valentine's Day is around the corner, and before everywhere turns red, the price of flowers skyrockets, restaurants run out of bookings, and taxi prices get even higher, we'll be bombarded with gift ideas for him and her. Then, there are those who are feeling down because they don’t have a partner and others preparing for first dates. But before we get caught up in all of this, let’s take a moment to discuss something else—a feeling, or perhaps a moment in life, that I'm not sure many can relate to. This might resonate more with those who have come of age, the older generation, or those who have experienced life in different ways.

Maybe they just needed a little patience. Maybe they needed a little confidence, or maybe they just needed time. You saw them and knew, but the point in your life where you were at didn't allow you a chance with them. And so, you buried them—yet, they keep rising to the surface of your heart.

It's not hard; it just is. You're not sad, but you don’t quite know how to feel about it. You don't regret where you are in life now, but you know it could have taken a different turn that would have also been good or maybe. Words can’t quite explain how. The memories are sweet, though you never had them. Things didn’t fall apart; no moves were made. Maybe it was fear—your fear, their fear—or maybe it was just time that didn’t allow things to happen. Perhaps you lost contact after that first meeting, or after however many times you crossed paths.

But you know, in your heart, there was something real or felt like real or without a definition but kept lingering. A love so deep, even the earth would have been jealous of it. Some of you still see them; some of you haven’t in years. And for some, they've passed away. And then comes the silence—the silence that has never been broken, because you’ve never spoken of it to anyone. But your heart carries it, tucked gently in a quiet corner. You can’t suppress it. You simply learn to ignore it, because that’s just how it is now.

How Wigs Are Shaping Black Women's Confidence and Self-Worth

Growing up, I saw many Black women wearing wigs. It was something I often witnessed, especially in Nigeria. Even in movies, Black women or Black characters were always seen wearing wigs. I come from a religious background, so my mum never wore them, but when I got to university, I tried one for the first time. As a writer and lifestyle blogger, I was sent wigs to review—expensive ones, some costing up to $900. These were the “good wigs” everyone talked about. Different brands had me review their products, and while they looked nice—suited my face and were, in fact, pretty good—I never felt comfortable wearing them. No matter the material, even the highest quality wigs gave me headaches, and I constantly wondered: how do people do it? I know it’s not just Black women who wear wigs, but we seem to wear them the most. How do people wear wigs all day? And those who glue them down to make them look like real hair—how do they manage that?

If you've ever worn a wig, you know they're not the most comfortable. Afro-style wigs might be a bit better, but generally, they’re not the most comfortable. Wearing a wig in the summer? It’s even worse. The sweat on your scalp builds up because your hair is trapped underneath, and adding another layer on top makes it unbearable. This is not just my personal experience. I mostly wear wigs for pictures to switch up my look, but not for long periods or as part of my everyday style. I’d never trade my freedom and comfort just to look a certain way.

Now, I’m not here to condemn those who can wear wigs for hours. If you can endure it, good for you, but for me, it’s uncomfortable. Over time, they cause itching—especially the ones glued on for too long—and they can even make your hair smell. Wearing wigs for extended periods doesn’t keep you comfortable and can even make you look tacky. That’s why I’m writing this article. I love switching up my look, but I’ve noticed that many women have become obsessed with wigs to the point where they’ll spend loads of money on them without ever investing in themselves. Shows like Young, Famous & African on Netflix or other reality shows featuring Black women rarely show anyone wearing their natural hair or sporting a culturally significant hairstyle. And that’s not to say wigs are bad, but it’s concerning how many Black women are promoting looks that don’t represent who we truly are. We need to teach younger generations that they don’t have to wear wigs to fit in.

I’ve had someone ask me why I didn’t “dress up” for an event simply because I wasn’t wearing a wig. Meanwhile, I looked just as beautiful in a lovely, decent dress—probably even better than her. But for some reason, not wearing a wig made me less “dressed up” in her eyes. I think the wig industry has taken away a lot of Black women’s confidence. Many women are willing to go to extreme lengths to wear a piece of someone else’s hair, and that’s what bothers me. I can meet ten beautiful Black women, and all of them will be wearing frontal wigs, with the lace visible and sometimes even the glue showing. No matter how skilled the installer is, I can still tell it’s not your hair, and honestly, it doesn’t look nice. Some are really pretty until you come closer, and then the lace is visible, or the glue starts to show, making it look less natural.

Wigs have become more about putting people into categories than having fun with their look. People are spending big money on wigs but haven’t made any realistic investments in themselves. Take reality shows, for example—most of the Black women on these shows aren’t wearing their natural hair, braids, or anything culturally representative of who they are. Instead, they’re wearing wigs made from someone else’s hair or mass-produced in factories. There’s this narrative that, in order to succeed or meet certain people, wearing a good wig is part of the package. I’m speaking from experience here.

Myths and realities about vitamin C

An important micronutrient that helps keep your body healthy is vitamin C, which is also known as ascorbic acid. We'll talk about some facts and myths about this important vitamin below.

What does vitamin C do in the body?
Vitamin C is a necessary vitamin that supports a variety of bodily activities. Vitamin C is important for the production of collagen, a protein required for the health of the skin, tendons, ligaments, and blood vessels, as well as the healing of wounds and the formation of scar tissue. The vitamin also contributes to strong bones, cartilage, and teeth. Additionally, it increases the body's ability to absorb iron from plant-based diets.

Vitamin C helps to boost the immune system. Vitamin C, a potent antioxidant, neutralizes free radicals, which are unstable chemicals that can damage cells and lead to aging, cancer, and heart disease. The vitamin also has a role in the production of neurotransmitters, which allow nerve cells to communicate.

How much of C do you really need?
Since our bodies can't make vitamin C, we need to get it from our food or pills.Getting them from organic food is always a healthier and better source.

How much vitamin C you need every day varies by age, gender, and stage of life.

It depends on your health or how you live your life if you need more or less vitamin C.

Recommended Daily Allowances (RDAs) for Vitamin C:

• Men (19+ years): 90 mg
• Women (19+ years): 75 mg
• Pregnant Women: 85 mg
• Breastfeeding Women: 120 mg
• Smokers: Require an additional 35 mg daily compared to non-smokers.

Source: National Institutes of Health Office of Dietary Supplements

Must read: 12 vegetables you must eat every day.

Too much vitamin C can be bad for you.
Vitamin C is safe for most people. As a result, taking more than 2,000 milligrams (mg) per day can lead to unpleasant side effects because the body can't take that much. Problems that happen a lot include diarrhea, feeling sick, and stomach cramps.

High amounts of vitamin C may sometimes cause kidney stones, especially in people who already have problems with their kidneys. Too much vitamin C supplementation during pregnancy can change how much vitamin C a baby has after birth. People who already have certain health problems, like iron overload disorder or inherited hemochromatosis, should also be careful about getting too much vitamin C.

Can vitamin C keep you from getting colds or make them last less time?
In the 1970s, a lot of people believed that vitamin C could keep you from getting colds. However, most studies have since disproved this idea. Regularly taking vitamin C doesn't seem to lower the risk of getting a cold, but there is some evidence that it might shorten the length of the cold or make its symptoms less severe.

Most people don't need to take high-dose supplements to keep their immune systems healthy. They can just eat a balanced meal that includes enough vitamin C.

2 years since Ogadinma left us

Yeah, it brings back all the memories as it marks two years since my sister left us to rest. It has been a mix of emotions. Some days are lighter than others, and some days are heavier. I know everyone hurts sometimes, but this one seems like it’s lingering—it’s not going away. She was what love stands for; she was my second mother. She was always so happy with me, but now she’s nowhere. I love her, I know, but why she stopped fighting, I didn’t know. Still, I am sure her reasons are good enough for me to accept, but her absence is not okay. No, I am not okay, as the 10th of January marked two years since she left us. I have been short of words, but tonight I got my words together.

Some days I cry, some days I smile, but how do I let go of her absence and the memories? I don’t even know how to feel sometimes—it’s all a mix of everything. If only she could speak and say, “Oh, I’m fine,” maybe I’d feel better about her absence. I miss her. We don’t talk anymore like we used to. When I call her name, I get no reply. Her voice is nowhere to be found. I don’t know how to fix this; I don’t know what to do. The tears just don’t stop.

Can someone knock on heaven's doors and tell them, Please, I miss her.

Can someone tell her that my heart is broken and I now know what a broken heart feels like? Tell her it's empty, filled with so much pain. I can't control my feelings, and I hate how I feel. When I heard her last goodbye, I died inside. I had no tears. All I want is for her to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, it's fine." But will I ever get that?

Heaven, please, I have a question. All I need is an explanation. I just want to know if she’s missing me. I can’t reconcile that she’s gone in my head. When I lost energy, she was like fuel—she gave herself completely. I know I’m not asking for much, Lord—just a whisper. If her voice is gone, then a touch. But if not, then tell her that I asked for her, that I love her, and that I’m always thinking about her.

Heaven, please, I feel so all alone. She wanted life more than ever before. Heaven, please, please. Heaven, please, if I could only just have one minute to tell her how I feel. Heaven, please, I just need a moment from this lifetime to have her by my side. Heaven, please.

I was walking on the street, and it was like I saw her. But when I looked closely, it was another person. How do I shake this off? I can’t. I feel empty. How do I tell her story when she is no more? When we don’t talk anymore? She is gone forever. I will forever miss her.

Photo by Brett Sayles

Denim on Denim: Styling a Cinched-Waist Denim Vest for a Trendy Look

These days, I only take photos and review outfits I genuinely love. Comfort is always my priority, but denim has a special place in my wardrobe. Living in the UK, where the weather can be unpredictable, denim has always served me well—and it still does.

I’m not just talking about jeans. I love exploring denim in different forms—like dresses or waistcoats—and this outfit is no exception. I recently got this Blue Loose Casual Pocket Button-Up Round Neck Sleeveless Waisted Vest and Wide-Leg Pants Denim Two-Piece Set from Know Fashion Style.

What I immediately loved about this two-piece denim waistcoat and flare trousers is how effortlessly it transformed with heels. I added a pair of heels, and voilà! The look instantly upgraded from office casual to polished and formal—perfect for a professional meeting. You know what I mean, right?

The material feels lovely on the skin—soft, breathable, and just the right weight for denim. However, I did notice a strong chemical odor when I first unpacked it. It could be from anti-pest treatments, dyes, or even formaldehyde (which some manufacturers use to prevent shrinkage). I’m not a fabric expert, but whatever it was, the smell was quite strong.

Pro tip: Always wash new clothes before wearing them, no matter where you buy them—even if they’re sealed in a package. Some chemicals are odorless, so it’s just better for your skin and health.

That being said, I genuinely loved everything else about the outfit. The design is thoughtful, and I think I styled it pretty well if I do say so myself!

What I Loved About This Two-Piece Set

1. The Color: The blue is vibrant and pairs beautifully with neutrals or pops of color.
2. The Fit: It felt like it was made for me. The waist fit perfectly—not too tight, just right—and the overall look was so comfortable.
3. The Buttons: The button pattern added symmetry and elegance, giving the outfit a feminine touch.
4. The Flare: The wide-leg pants added drama to the look while keeping it office-appropriate.

Last Night I Could Not Sleep and Here Is What I Learnt From It

I couldn’t sleep last night because I slept in the afternoon, and let’s be real—whenever I nap during the day, I struggle to sleep at night. So, here I am, writing this post at 4:01 AM. I tried distracting myself by watching a show, but here’s the thing: if I feel sleepy, I’ll usually just knock out. But this time, I wasn’t sleepy at all, and I started worrying because I had work in the morning.

I thought maybe snacking on some cashew nuts would help, so I headed to the kitchen. But as I walked, I caught myself worrying about not being able to sleep again, even though I knew exactly why I couldn’t sleep. Then it hit me—why am I worrying? Worrying wasn’t going to fix anything; it was just making me more stressed.

So, I decided to let it go. I drank some water, opened a window for some fresh air, lay back on my bed, and wrote this post. I told myself, “You know what? I can’t sleep because I already napped in the afternoon. No big deal. Let me just enjoy this show.” And guess what? Once I stopped stressing about it, I started feeling sleepy.

Here’s what I realized: sometimes, things don’t go the way we plan—whether it’s little things or big things. And when we’re so used to things going a certain way, it’s easy to worry when they don’t. But what does worrying really do? It doesn’t solve the problem; it just adds to the stress.

If you’re going through something right now, ask yourself: why let worry take over your whole mood or day? Instead, do something that makes you happy. Take a walk, grab your favorite treat, pray, or go see something interesting. Distract yourself with something positive. There’s a saying in Nigeria: “Wahala no dey finish, make you try dey enjoy life.” It means troubles and worries never end, so we need to make an effort to enjoy life in the meantime.

My Visit to the Oldest House in Glasgow: The Provand's Lordship

If you’re in Glasgow and looking to step back in time, Provand’s Lordship is one place you absolutely don’t want to miss. Not only is it free to enter, but it also gives you a peek into Scotland’s medieval past. Open from 10 AM on some days and 11 AM on others (but closed by 5 PM), you’ll want to make sure you catch it during its limited hours.

Provand’s Lordship is said to be the oldest house in Scotland, dating back to 1471! It’s had a recent £1.6 million restoration, though, to be honest, the renovations don’t exactly give off that ‘£1.6 million’ vibe, it gives way less. But that’s okay! The house is solid, built to last through centuries. Some of these old buildings are actually sturdier than many modern structures. Plus, Provand’s Lordship is one of only four surviving medieval buildings in Glasgow, so it’s a true piece of history! The nearby Cathedral, also the oldest in Glasgow, holds the crown as the city’s oldest building.

The house was originally constructed by Andrew Muirhead, the Bishop of Glasgow, as part of St Nicholas's Hospital in 1471. The ‘front’ of the house probably faced west, and the area where St Mungo Museum now stands used to be part of the grand Bishop's Castle, which was the center of medieval Glasgow.

Although the house may have been built for the Master of the hospital, it later became part of the accommodation for the 32 canons of Glasgow Cathedral. Each canon was tied to a specific area of the city, known as a prebend. Fast forward to the 1800s, and it’s said to have been home to a canon supported by income from the Prebend of Barlanark.

One thing to note is that to preserve the original oak floor beams, some false floors were added to the upper levels. This does change the dimensions of the rooms and can make the fireplaces look a bit off, but it’s all part of making sure the building lasts for future generations.

Oh, and don’t miss the lovely St Nicholas Garden out back! It’s a peaceful little spot, perfect for a moment of reflection.

In my opinion, the best time to visit is during the summer, when the weather in Glasgow is typically milder, and you can enjoy the garden in full bloom. However, I must say it was quite warm inside during my visit, especially towards the end. The building traps heat, making it feel a bit stuffy, but the rich history inside more than makes up for it!

But here’s the thing—I have to admit, I’m a bit claustrophobic, and the ground floor gave me some of those ‘close quarters’ vibes at first. I felt a bit off, but after a moment, I got over it. The history in that building is so captivating.

If you’re headed there, the address is 3 Castle Street, Glasgow, G4 0RB. Enjoy!

When Hate Enters the NICU: Breaking the Bones of Black Infants

It is appalling, infuriating, and beyond disgusting to hear about acts of cruelty like those committed at the Henrico Doctors’ Hospital NICU. How can anyone look at a newborn—fragile, innocent, and utterly dependent—and cause deliberate harm? And for what reason? The thought is chilling. These are infants we’re talking about—babies. The very notion that someone in a position of trust, like a nurse, could be so depraved is both heartbreaking and infuriating.

For those who do not know, the NICU, or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, is a specialized area in a hospital dedicated to caring for newborn babies who require extra medical attention.

Erin Elizabeth Ann Strotman, a nurse from the United States arrested for allegedly causing fractures and injuries to NICU babies, has shaken me to my core. The fact that this is even a possibility shows the depth of the systemic rot within certain parts of the healthcare system. And yes, I’m going to say it—there’s a racial element here that we cannot ignore. When I hear stories like this, I cannot help but wonder about the role that racism plays. Racism isn’t just hateful words or discriminatory policies; it’s baked into the very fabric of systems that allow individuals to harm the most vulnerable without facing immediate accountability.

There’s a long history here. My grandmother always said that racism hasn’t decreased—it’s just that laws make it harder to act on openly. But give a white person the opportunity, and their true colors will show. Stories like this are a haunting reminder of that truth. If a white nurse can allegedly harm Black newborns, targeting them deliberately, what does that say about the depths of her cruelty? About the system that enabled her? About the unchecked biases that fester behind the smiles of people claiming, "I have Black friends"?

Let me be clear: having friends of another race doesn’t absolve anyone of prejudice. True decency is not about performing kindness; it’s about seeing every person as fully human, equal in worth and dignity. And when stories like this surface, it becomes clear that many people still fail this basic test of humanity.

It’s also important to note that this isn’t an isolated incident—it’s part of a larger pattern. The health system, like the police force, is supposed to protect and serve. Yet, we see time and time again how some individuals within these systems weaponize their positions against Black people. Babies in a NICU! Could there be a more vulnerable group? And what does it say about a society where such an atrocity can occur, not once, but repeatedly?

One Commenting Habit Destroying Your Website's Reputation

Before you begin reading this post, please know that I have seen all the Christmas wishes from 2024, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the New Year's messages. Yasssss, I love the energy—you all are amazing! Happy New Year to everyone, and thank you so much. "2025; let's go.

I visit a lot of blogs, and I happen to have a really good memory when it comes to recognizing blogs I’ve visited. When I visit a blog, I aim to understand the writer. I take the time to read the article or post and comment accordingly. However, I’ve noticed that some bloggers and readers leave comments without even reading the post. Comments like “Nice one,” “Cool post,” “Good post,” or “I like this” don’t add any meaningful contribution to the conversation.

Additionally, I’ve observed that people who leave such off-topic comments often repeat the same words or phrases across multiple blogs. This practice not only damages the reputation of their blog but also negatively affects their traffic, as Google begins to flag such comments as spam. On top of that, others might return the favor by commenting the same way on their blog without truly engaging, making the article feel irrelevant. Moderation-enabled blogs are likely to flag these repetitive comments as spam. This happens because the person isn’t engaging meaningfully but is instead leaving comments purely for self-promotion.

In my opinion, such behavior shows a lack of understanding of what it means to build a blogging and reading community, gain organic readers, or contribute thoughtfully to a conversation. Website owners will not publish every comment you make, especially if they notice that you are consistently leaving superficial comments on their articles, which they've meticulously crafted for others to read, learn, engage with, or enjoy.

I understand that finding the right words isn’t always easy, but when every comment a website gets from you is simply “Good post,” it becomes clear that your engagement isn’t genuine. Do you know it’s better not to comment at all than to fail to contribute meaningfully?

People write in different languages, which makes us all unique. Personally, I enjoy reading articles in various languages, not just those written in English. I understand that if English is not your first language and you read an article in English (perhaps by translating it), you might find it difficult to express your thoughts when commenting. As a result, people often leave very short comments, such as "Good article."

Here’s my suggestion: instead of leaving a short or generic comment, consider commenting in the language you are most comfortable with. The writer can translate your comment and reply accordingly. This approach highlights our diversity while ensuring that everyone can express themselves fully.

Translating articles allows readers to understand the content and engage by commenting in their own language. In turn, the writer can translate these comments and respond thoughtfully.

Never stop expressing yourself—always share your thoughts, no matter where you’re from, who you are, or what language you speak. We don’t have to speak the same language, as translation tools can bridge the gap.

For website owners, I recommend adding a translation feature to your site to help readers. If you’re using Blogger, a translation widget is already available, but you need to add it manually to your blog.

Here’s how to add the "Offer Translator" widget:

1. Log in to your Blogger account.
2. Go to the Layout section.
3. Click Add a Gadget where you want the translator to appear.
4. Search for the Google Translate widget or a similar tool.
5. Select it, configure the settings, and click Save.
6. Refresh your blog to ensure the widget is visible and working properly.

Adding this feature will make your blog more inclusive and accessible to readers from all over the world.

Pro Tip: Enable your browser's translation feature to automatically translate websites into your preferred language. This way, whenever you visit a site in another language, it will be instantly translated into a language you understand.

For those wondering, "Is a blog a website?"—here’s a quick clarification for knowledge’s sake. A blog is a specific type of website that primarily features content in the form of posts, often displayed in reverse chronological order (newest first). So yes, a blog is a website!

There are numerous benefits to reading other blogs that go beyond simply gaining engagement. The knowledge you gain from reading blogs often comes from firsthand experiences, broken down step-by-step, making it relatable and personal. Such insights are valuable and worth your time.

Of course, mistakes are allowed; everyone slips up now and then when contributing to an online conversation. However, making it a habit to leave the same repetitive or off-topic comments on every site you visit—or comments that don’t contribute to the discussion—is, in my opinion, wrong.

Did you know that your blog receives visits from more than just fellow bloggers? Upon examining your blog's monthly traffic, you'll observe a gradual increase in your overall traffic, which accumulates over time due to these interactions. This reinforces the importance of meaningful contributions.

Personally, if I publish an article and a visitor leaves an off-topic comment or something like “Cool,” I don’t publish such comments. It’s better to stay silent than to offer shallow remarks that add no value.

Whenever I publish an article and seek feedback from readers, I strive to express myself clearly, using simple language and keeping the article concise. However, I’ve noticed an intriguing pattern: the tone and length of the first and second comments often set the stage for the rest.

Here’s what I mean: if the first commenter leaves a short, generic comment like “Cool blog post,” others tend to follow suit with similarly brief remarks. On the other hand, when the initial comment is thoughtful and detailed, subsequent comments are often more engaging and substantive.

I don't think you should publish a short, meaningless first comment on your article. Instead, focus on approving comments that enrich the discussion—whether they agree or disagree with your perspective. Thoughtful comments not only add value to your article but also encourage others to engage more meaningfully.

 

How Empty Comments Affect a Website

• Reputation Damage:

Websites that allow shallow or spammy comments might appear unprofessional or poorly moderated, leading visitors to question the quality of the content and the site's credibility.

• Search Engine Penalties:

Repeated use of generic or empty comments across multiple blogs can trigger Google’s spam filters. This can lower the site's SEO ranking, making it harder for new readers to discover the blog.

• Loss of Audience Engagement:

Meaningful engagement fosters a sense of community. Generic comments fail to build connections or spark meaningful discussions, which can lead to a decline in returning visitors.

• Increased Moderation Workload:

Website owners or moderators spend extra time filtering out low-quality comments, which is a resource drain, especially for high-traffic websites.

• Lower Reader Trust:

Genuine readers might be discouraged from engaging if they see a flood of non-contributive comments, reducing overall interaction quality or product features on their website.

• Loss of Opportunities and Reduced profitability.

For website owners who collaborate with businesses to share articles aimed at improving brand awareness—such as through link building, guest posting, or general partnerships—off-topic comments can negatively impact your website. When readers leave irrelevant comments that fail to contribute meaningfully to the shared article, it harms the website’s credibility. This lack of meaningful engagement with the content can lead to decreased traffic, diminished trust, and ultimately, reduced profitability.