I couldn’t sleep last night because I slept in the afternoon, and let’s be real—whenever I nap during the day, I struggle to sleep at night. So, here I am, writing this post at 4:01 AM. I tried distracting myself by watching a show, but here’s the thing: if I feel sleepy, I’ll usually just knock out. But this time, I wasn’t sleepy at all, and I started worrying because I had work in the morning.
I thought maybe snacking on some cashew nuts would help, so I headed to the kitchen. But as I walked, I caught myself worrying about not being able to sleep again, even though I knew exactly why I couldn’t sleep. Then it hit me—why am I worrying? Worrying wasn’t going to fix anything; it was just making me more stressed.
So, I decided to let it go. I drank some water, opened a window for some fresh air, lay back on my bed, and wrote this post. I told myself, “You know what? I can’t sleep because I already napped in the afternoon. No big deal. Let me just enjoy this show.” And guess what? Once I stopped stressing about it, I started feeling sleepy.
Here’s what I realized: sometimes, things don’t go the way we plan—whether it’s little things or big things. And when we’re so used to things going a certain way, it’s easy to worry when they don’t. But what does worrying really do? It doesn’t solve the problem; it just adds to the stress.
If you’re going through something right now, ask yourself: why let worry take over your whole mood or day? Instead, do something that makes you happy. Take a walk, grab your favorite treat, pray, or go see something interesting. Distract yourself with something positive. There’s a saying in Nigeria: “Wahala no dey finish, make you try dey enjoy life.” It means troubles and worries never end, so we need to make an effort to enjoy life in the meantime.
It is appalling, infuriating, and beyond disgusting to hear about acts of cruelty like those committed at the Henrico Doctors’ Hospital NICU. How can anyone look at a newborn—fragile, innocent, and utterly dependent—and cause deliberate harm? And for what reason? The thought is chilling. These are infants we’re talking about—babies. The very notion that someone in a position of trust, like a nurse, could be so depraved is both heartbreaking and infuriating.
For those who do not know, the NICU, or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, is a specialized area in a hospital dedicated to caring for newborn babies who require extra medical attention.
Erin Elizabeth Ann Strotman, a nurse arrested for allegedly causing fractures and injuries to NICU babies, has shaken me to my core. The fact that this is even a possibility shows the depth of the systemic rot within certain parts of the healthcare system. And yes, I’m going to say it—there’s a racial element here that we cannot ignore. When I hear stories like this, I cannot help but wonder about the role that racism plays. Racism isn’t just hateful words or discriminatory policies; it’s baked into the very fabric of systems that allow individuals to harm the most vulnerable without facing immediate accountability.
There’s a long history here. My grandmother always said that racism hasn’t decreased—it’s just that laws make it harder to act on openly. But give a white person the opportunity, and their true colors will show. Stories like this are a haunting reminder of that truth. If a white nurse can allegedly harm Black newborns, targeting them deliberately, what does that say about the depths of her cruelty? About the system that enabled her? About the unchecked biases that fester behind the smiles of people claiming, "I have Black friends"?
Let me be clear: having friends of another race doesn’t absolve anyone of prejudice. True decency is not about performing kindness; it’s about seeing every person as fully human, equal in worth and dignity. And when stories like this surface, it becomes clear that many people still fail this basic test of humanity.
It’s also important to note that this isn’t an isolated incident—it’s part of a larger pattern. The health system, like the police force, is supposed to protect and serve. Yet, we see time and time again how some individuals within these systems weaponize their positions against Black people. Babies in a NICU! Could there be a more vulnerable group? And what does it say about a society where such an atrocity can occur, not once, but repeatedly?
Finally, we have reached the end of 2024. Wow, I feel like the year flew by, almost as if it’s being chased by 2025, eager to make its entrance. I’m really excited about the new year, and I know I’ve said it several times, but I’m truly thankful for life! I wish you all a Happy New Year and can't wait to read all your blog posts in the year ahead, living according to God's plan.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! WELCOME TO 2025!
Photo by Efrem Efre
In my previous post, I mentioned it would be my last, but when I came across this news today, I felt compelled to share my thoughts.
For every country I have lived in, visiting restaurants has been one of the fun things I enjoyed doing. Never have I been obligated to give tips. Even in Ukraine, where I really enjoyed the services when I went out, I was never obligated or talked down to by a delivery person or server to give tips. I did it at will. The same applies to Hungary and here in the UK. However, I know experiences can differ from person to person.
When my friend traveled to America, she told me that waiters and servers gave her bad looks and even asked her to tip them. She was about to leave a restaurant, and a waiter asked her outright, “Where is my tip?” I was shocked when she said this happened several times in different places. I kept wondering: how are waiters allowed to harass customers like this and get away with it?
I’m not sure about the laws in America regarding tipping, but the broad understanding is that tips are given as a way for customers to appreciate good service, purely by choice. There is no obligation.
Today, while browsing through Instagram, I came across news about a case I’d heard about before, but now I got the full details. Seeing the face of the lady who stabbed another human being over a $2 tip was shocking. According to the story in the media, she made a delivery to someone staying in a motel and was tipped $2. She left but returned later with a man, forced their way into the person’s room, and stabbed the person several times.
The stabbed woman found out she was pregnant while receiving treatment in the hospital, according to NBC news. The 22-year-old woman who carried out the stabbing is facing charges of attempted murder.
This tragic incident highlights a deeper issue within society, particularly among the youth. The sense of entitlement and lack of accountability have led to behaviors that are both alarming and destructive. How do you justify harming someone over a personal choice like tipping?
People who take delivery or service jobs made that choice—no one forced them. Even if someone felt compelled by circumstances, they still chose to work because only those of working age are allowed to do such jobs. Whether it’s a well-paying job or not, everyone is navigating this tough economy. We’re all struggling, so there’s no excuse for entitlement.
While I was watching a reality TV show about a family who lives and raises their children in the bush, I was struck by the profound implications of their story. This family had built their life in the bush, far from the conveniences and demands of modern society. However, the government burned down their home located on public land, forcing them to relocate. Determined to continue their way of life, they purchased land deep in the forest in Alaska—a remote and inexpensive location—and began rebuilding. But the challenges didn’t end there: they had to endure long drives and build a new cabin just to maintain their lifestyle.
Why am I writing about this? Because their experience reflects a broader issue: the way governments and modern societies treat people who choose to live differently. Across the world, there are indigenous tribes and isolated communities who have been “discovered” by tourists, explorers, scientists, or even random adventurers. Once these groups are identified, governments often step in, claiming they need to introduce modernization, enforce regulations, or teach these people a “better” way of life. This paternalistic approach strips individuals and communities of their autonomy and disregards their unique cultures, traditions, and choices.
In my opinion, if we want to live in a world where human rights truly prevail, then people must be allowed to live the way they choose—whether or not we agree with their way of life. As long as they are not harming others, their choices should be respected. I’ve seen reality shows and documentaries from countries like the United States, Canada, and others, where indigenous tribes and remote communities are filmed without consent, their lives laid bare for public consumption. These invasions of privacy are not just disrespectful; they’re exploitative. Forcing these communities into the global spotlight, altering their way of life, or making them adapt to systems they never asked for is a gross violation of their freedom.
Some families and individuals deliberately reject the conventional trappings of modern society. They do not want to pay electricity bills, take on car or house loans, or be beholden to government systems. They don’t want to live a life of perpetual debt or adhere to societal expectations like attending formal schools or holding steady jobs. Instead, they prioritize simplicity, self-reliance, and connection with nature. Not everyone wants to use cell phones or drink contaminated tap water; some people crave fresh water, prefer planting their own food, and living sustainably. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Forcing them to conform to a system—a system often plagued by corruption, inequality, and coercion—is deeply unjust.
Have you taken the time to reflect on the year from its beginning to its near conclusion? I was at home when I had a deep reflection on Thanksgiving Day. God reminded me of all he has done for me this year, and I just started praising and worshiping him. God has guided every aspect of my life this year. God gave me peace, taught me patience, and shifted my heart from things that added no value to my life—and that didn't point me towards heaven. God provided me with a path to follow, which I will discuss in more detail soon, but overall, my heart is overflowing with joy. I want to thank God that I am among the living, and I am healthy enough to move around and do things. I want to thank God for keeping my parents alive, and I know that my prayer for them for 120 years will come true. I will look back on this post and say, "Yes, indeed, God is great."
Every day should be Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?
The Impact of Teenage Pregnancy on Parents
Teenage pregnancy is one of the biggest fears for many parents. Growing up in a large Christian family instilled in us the belief that marriage is honorable, a belief that continues to resonate with me today. The truth is, teenage pregnancy doesn't just affect the teenager involved; it often shapes their lives in challenging ways, leading to a path filled with struggle and stress. While some young parents rise above their circumstances with stories of triumph, others find themselves wishing they had never ventured down that path.
It's crucial to guide and watch over our teens, but we often overlook a significant aspect: the impact on parents when their child either becomes pregnant or is involved in a teenage pregnancy. We rarely discuss the challenges faced by parents whose children are involved in teenage pregnancy. I remember growing up and witnessing a few girls in my community get pregnant. My dad was terrified and warned me to be careful. I could see the fear in his eyes and hear it in his trembling voice, especially since these were girls I grew up with, talked to, and attended Bible study with. His concern came straight from the heart. Thankfully, I heeded his advice, but the experience left me thinking deeply about how much fear and anxiety parents endure.
Often, when teenage pregnancy happens, the focus tends to be on the teenager's future and the societal reactions, but we forget about the parents' pain and heartbreak. Many parents feel judged, ashamed, and even ostracized by their communities. You might say, "Well, why should they care about what society thinks?" But the truth is, as humans, we're naturally conscious of how we're perceived by others. We want to present our best selves to the world, and so do our parents.
When parents react emotionally to the news of a teenage pregnancy, they are sometimes labeled as harsh or uncaring. I've heard stories of people criticizing their parents for their intense reactions, calling them cruel or unloving. Yet, in many cases, those reactions stem from a place of deep pain and disappointment—not just in their children but also in themselves. Parents often feel like they've failed in their upbringing or that their child didn't listen to their guidance. And while it’s true that not all children will heed their parents' advice, it doesn’t take away from the hurt parents feel when things go awry.
The Emotional Toll on Parents
Teenage pregnancy can affect parents in profound ways, but we seldom acknowledge this. Here are some of the emotional and psychological impacts it can have on them:
1. Broken Trust: Parents often feel a deep sense of betrayal, which can affect their trust in their other children as well.
2. Living in Fear: There's a constant worry that the same situation might happen again, either with the same child or with their siblings.
3. Increased Anger: The stress and fear can make them more irritable and prone to outbursts.
4. Shame and guilt: Many parents feel ashamed among their peers and carry a heavy burden of guilt, questioning where they went wrong.
5. Judgment in Religious Communities: For those in religious settings, especially if they hold a position like a pastor, they might be labeled as careless or even unfit for their role, leading to loss of respect and position.
6. Social Withdrawal: Parents may become withdrawn, keeping to themselves to avoid judgment and uncomfortable questions.
7. Loss of Joy: The disappointment and stress can take away their smiles and rob them of their happiness.
8. Diminished confidence: They might lose confidence in their parenting abilities and question their self-worth.
Let’s be real—Secret Santa in the office is not everyone’s cup of tea. Personally, I’d rather skip it entirely. There’s always that lingering pressure to pick something “perfect,” and no one needs another mug collecting dust in a cabinet (seriously, let’s retire the mug gifting trend). But if you’re in it and want to make your gift count, here are some safe, practical ideas that are both budget-friendly and actually useful.
Smart, Practical Gift Ideas
Desk Organizers
Everyone loves a tidy workspace. Think small drawer organizers, pen holders, or even cord clips to tame those unruly wires. They’re simple, functional, and won’t break the bank.
Mini Plants
Succulents or air plants are easy to care for and can liven up even the gloomiest desk. Bonus points if they’re low-maintenance—no one wants to babysit a high-maintenance ficus.
Fancy Snacks
Snacks are a crowd-pleaser, but skip the generic stuff. A box of gourmet popcorn, some artisan cookies, or even a curated mix of healthy treats can feel thoughtful without trying too hard.
Tech-Friendly Accessories
If your office is phone-free, go for other practical gadgets like blue-light glasses, a mini desk lamp, or a screen cleaning kit. They’re handy and show you’ve put some thought into the gift.
Notebooks or Planners
A sleek pocket notebook or a minimalist planner? Yes, please. Perfect for jotting down ideas, meeting notes, or just pretending to be organized.
Stress Relievers
A good stress ball, a fun fidget toy, or even a roll-on essential oil blend—these are great for those long workdays when you need to decompress (or survive another meeting).
Reusable Lunch Accessories
Collapsible lunch boxes, reusable cutlery sets, or even eco-friendly silicone food bags—practical, thoughtful, and perfect for anyone who brings their lunch.
Personalized Office Supplies
Customized sticky notes or quirky paperclips are small, affordable, and still show effort. Plus, they’re actually useful.
Keep the budget low, the gift neutral, and the vibe easygoing. Secret Santa should be fun, not an exercise in overthinking. If all else fails? Go for snacks—no one’s ever been mad about getting good snacks.
Let me explain further. Essentially, some couples create content together and share aspects of their lives on various social platforms. Most of them have amassed a large following and enjoy widespread adoration, despite the presence of people who do not like them. When a problem arises in their relationship or marriage and they decide to split, people notice and begin to ask questions, which is normal given that they share their lives on social media. Sometimes they choose to remain silent, but occasionally one party may decide to speak out. The internet often assumes the person who speaks out is the one with the problem, which isn't always true.
There are various levels of wickedness and manipulation, and a person's silence does not necessarily indicate their innocence or goodness. Silence is golden, but not in all cases. The same world that says silence is golden also says a closed mouth is a closed destiny. Some people feel so hurt that they need to speak out, while others are able to remain silent, heal, or carry the pain all their lives. There is no rule stating that the person who remains silent has fewer problems.
Social media has pushed this narrative for a long time, and I just felt the need to write about it. Some manipulations are nonverbal explanations and require physical presence to fully comprehend, as not all injuries result in visible bruises. Some come with silence and disrespect.
Some individuals who have experienced significant hurt in their relationships find it challenging to discuss their experiences, as others either cannot relate or tend to downplay them. This is why some people choose to remain silent. While silence is golden, never think that the person who speaks out is the problem. This could potentially be the beginning of their journey toward healing and releasing that burden. This could also serve as a path to liberation, symbolizing the conclusion of an unwanted phase in their lives. Remember, you didn't witness the beginning and process of any story on social media before you supported it.
Why did I write this post? I shared this post as a response to a couple on Instagram who had been creating amusing videos together but abruptly stopped and ended their relationship. One person spoke about the situation online, while the other has moved on and chosen to get married again within a year. However, some have suggested that her decision to open up about her marriage online and her partner's choice to remain silent indicate that he is mature and not the problem, a notion that may not always hold true.
I wonder if people realize that the person who truly knows a partner is often not their family or friends, but rather the woman or man they are in a relationship with or married to. It's mind-boggling how social media establishes unrealistic expectations, leading to superficial judgments and assumptions about people's knowledge of situations they are unfamiliar with. This can be more or less than you perceive, so always keep in mind that you don't know these people. You are just a viewer.
What do you think about this narrative?