One of the difficult aspects of leaving a toxic relationship is for the individuals involved to come to the realization that they are in a toxic relationship. This can be excused for many other behaviors and also seen as love. As humans, we have a bit of toxicity in us. We do things that might not be acceptable at some point in life but when it is a constant habit the alarm should start ringing so loudly. When you can identify early signs of a toxic relationship you can be able to figure out ways to break out of it.
I asked a question on Quora which I am also asking everyone reading this article.
How do you identify toxicity at the early stage of a relationship?
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This is not an easy process. Honestly, let me not make it sound like an easy process because it is not in any way an easy process. It will take time, patience, understanding, observation, self-awareness, and self-realization. It is important to know that being in a toxic relationship can ruin you and put people who care about your well being in constant worry and fear. The process may be so difficult, shameful but you have to come to the self-realization that your mental health should be protected at all times because this can drive you crazy and make you do things you never thought of doing.
There are persons who need to draw strength from other people. It can be pretty annoying if you have a close friend or a loved one who is going through this phase. It can be so tiring advising them and watch them go back to that same toxic environment or relationship. Do not give up on them because one day, they will slowly but surely come to the realization and gather the strength to detach themselves from such circumstances.
Do not be ashamed and afraid to seek help from the right authority if need be.
If it's toxic, leave it silently or loudly. What matters is that you left.
Question
At what point should you leave a toxic relationship?
Read more on mental health.
It has been a whole lot of craziness this week. I got news about the death of my friend's mum. He has been in tears and I can not help but just pray for him to have the divine strength to move on. Everything just feels tight and I really want you all to also pray for him. I remember him taking these photos of me wearing this navy loungewear set from Femme luxe a week ago and I told him to be positive that his mum will be fine. I have been trying to meet with him but his energy is very low which is very understandable. We have been cool friends for years. I wish his family the strength to bear the loss and I pray that he will find happiness again. Amen.
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I am a very strong believer that toxic friends and relationships should be well observed and put away.
Last year, I traveled back to my country and I spent Christmas in my country. I was ready to come back to Ukraine but the flights were so expensive. Three times the price because it was during the festive period. I decided to buy my ticket from a third party website to cut down costs. After purchasing the flight ticket, money was deducted from my account but no booking ticket confirmation was sent to me. I haven't used this company before so I panicked a lot, it was a friend who introduced me to this company. I waited for a day and sent lots of emails but the process was so slow and I had less than three days to travel. I also needed to buy a domestic air ticket to the airport where I planned to take off from.
I called the company several times. Each time I called my airtime/call credit finishes due to the high call charges. Sometimes I will be kept on hold for close to 30mins until my call credit gets exhausted, it got really frustrating and I shaded tears at some point and started regretting my decision of using a third party company. I decided to inform someone in Ukraine to help me call the company since it is a Ukrainian company, this will also facilitate the process.
The company is located in Kyiv being the capital of Ukraine and I needed a person who is based in the capital to call and if need be the person can quickly go to the office of the company to help me sort out things properly. I decided to inform the boyfriend of my friend. He made the calls and helped me rectify the problem in less than an hour everything was sorted out. The booking confirmation was sent to me via email and I was super happy. I called my friend and thanked her for the help her boyfriend rathered to me, of course, I said a very big thank you to her boyfriend too.
Later, my friend's boyfriend wrote to me that he would like that I bring a particular fruit for him. That fruit doesn't grow in Ukraine so I understood why he wanted it. "I promised to bring the fruit for him but he went ahead and said, 'you can come and stay in my place for some days before traveling to your city.'" He also asked that I send my ticket details so he can come to the airport to pick me. This was strange and I immediately informed my man but didn't inform my friend because I felt really uncomfortable. This was so disrespectful to my friend and I. I weaved it off because I felt bad for my friend and didn't want anything to affect her self esteem or for her to feel bad. I simply arrived at Kyiv and didn't call him.
I got to my city, informed him but he kept asking when I will come to Kyiv to spend time in their house, that he was very bored staying all alone. He never informed his girlfriend who is my friend about this. I wanted to keep the situation down and let everything slide so I just gave excuses such as I had to do quick registration, I had to fix my finances, I had a whole lot to fix, etc. I Stated that I will not be able to come to Kyiv and if I have to I will stay at another friend's place. He asked of the fruit and I made an excuse for that. I purposefully didn't bring the fruit because I didn't want him to come to the airport.
At the time this was happening my friend being his girlfriend was in Nigeria. I was communicating with my friend but suddenly she stopped communicating with me. I noticed some changes in her behavior little did I know that he (my friend's boyfriend) felt guilty and thought I was going to tell my friend what he did so he lied to her that I called him to ask him for some money which never happened and would never happen. My friend came back to Ukraine, didn't say a word to me, or inform me. I wrote her but she acted cold so I decided to let it be but my man told me I needed to find out what the issue was because she might be going through some issues. I got concerned again and wrote to her but she gave me the same attitude. I decided to forget about it.
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Well, you might be wondering why so many poses well, I wanted something a bit different from just standing and doing the normal.
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Have you ever been in a relationship with a person who can be happy this minute and in the next second you are already asking him/her what the problem is, because of their mood changes? I am referring to people with mood issues. They literally go cold from 100-0 in splits of seconds. If you have a partner who has this issue it affects you because you care, you start feeling cheated because it is only when they get back to their happy mood that you both get to spend happy moments together. They literally decide the mood/vibe around you both. This can affect your communication and bridge a big gap in between. One of the characteristics associated with people with mood issues is that when asked what the problem is they have a common answer which is always, "Nothing I am fine".
This is an issue some relationships and married couples face, not everyone is psychologically ok and I believe that we all deserve to be happy even as we try to help them. In a situation, whereby your partner has refused to seek help or visit a psychologist what do you do? how can you help them?
1. Do you walk away to protect/safe your mental health since they have refused help?
2. Do you stay and keep hurting/enduring even as they have refused help?
How do you handle such a partner?
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Last days of summer are filled with lots of emotions for me because I am not a winter baby, I don't like the cold season. I feel so sad when the weather transition begins, tree leaves changing colour, the temperature grows colder, plants stop making food, animals prepare for the long months ahead, and the daylight starts growing shorter. It feels like my lover is going away for a long time. I have been taking time out to enjoy the last days of summer, it has been so amazing and beautiful. I have been able to balance myself in a good way, write and also work. Life is beautiful my people and you can only live ones which I take so seriously. Enjoyment is part of my lifestyle.
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Have you ordered a dress, super excited to wear but when it arrived it was a bit different from what you expected but you still liked it, yes I have and it is this dress. I was expecting more of a solid textured print and feel but it wasn't so. Tho, I have other items of clothing's from Noracora which fits perfectly well but this particular dress is a bit different from what I pictured in style but nevertheless, it still looks beautiful. I wore it twice already, to the park and to the riverside. I washed this dress inside a washing machine but the texture didn't change meaning the quality is very good.
To my faraway lover, I am jealous of the love I have for you.
Far away you are but closer to my soul as a fall deeply in love with you.
You go away in the morning, saying little or no words, time is jealous of us.
With my heart missing you and my body yearning for your love
I wait patiently under the orange tree.
As the evening draws near my heart skips hearing the sound of your footsteps.
That's my lover, coming back to me.
Happy I am again.
By Melody Jacob
I promise this is the last tooth I will be pulling out in my life, so help me God.
It was crazier than before, I think at some point we grow into kids. I was terrified and anyone who saw me today would have seen a child. I woke up with so much pain, my tooth was driving me crazy, It was already pulling out which made it so painful to touch. Has pain ever woken you up from sleep? like hey get up something is wrong..hmm oh no... I jumped out of bed, didn't have my bath, I brushed my teeth and immediately went to the hospital. I couldn't stand the pain and discomfort anymore.
I got to the hospital, paid the necessary fee and headed to the Doctors office. The procedure kicked off and the dentist started by tapping my teeth to figure out the affected tooth, to giving me anaesthesia to numb the affected area and finally removed the tooth. The estimated time given by the doctor for the numbness to wear away was 30mins but girl... It took close to 1:40mins which wasn't fun at all.
Everything went well, I still feel pain but I am happy it's all in the past now. I am feeling pain but with time its gonna heal completely.
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