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One thing this year has taught me is that peace cannot be traded. I was with someone who never saw the good in me but constantly said bad words to me, especially after leaving Ukraine, and was so sad, losing a lot to the war. I was down, and my mental health was affected. I am not perfect, but this person saw themselves as perfect and always asked for change, never wanting to change or improve anything about themselves.

I consistently told this person they needed to change the way they looked at things. I adjusted, but they remained in the same place, desiring more changes and setting conditions. Despite having high self-esteem, I kept trying to figure out the problem. Eventually, I understood that in life, you have to accept that you are the problem and leave to escape a toxic space and save yourself.

When I accepted that I was the problem, I broke off and decided to stop communication with this person, the same person reached out and said we needed to find a way to fix things. I replied, "You said you needed peace, and I was a problem and never accepted that you could make a mistake. I want you to be at peace, especially with the fact that you made it clear to me that asking questions took away your peace. I won't stop asking questions, and I want your peace to be with you, so no thank you.

Every day we encounter different situations and behaviors; not every meeting needs closure. This includes friendships, relationships, and marriages. Sometimes the fact that you are not seen, valued, or heard is enough for you to leave and find closure when attempts to make things work prove unsuccessful. 

Sometimes you have to accept that you are the problem!



Dealing with mental health is something we all face, and it's essential to talk openly about it. Even though the pandemic brought more awareness, there are still myths and stereotypes around mental health that we need to challenge.

Did you know that over 58 million American adults, which is more than one in five, live with mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder? Surprisingly, more women than men seek treatment for these challenges.

However, there's a lingering stigma around mental health, making it difficult for those dealing with these issues. Dr. Arthur Barsky from Brigham and Women's Hospital explains that this stigma can affect people's morale and recovery. Feeling labeled and isolated can worsen depression or anxiety, leading to problems like substance abuse or social withdrawal.

The good news is that science is helping break down these old beliefs. Advances like brain imaging show that certain mental disorders cause structural changes in the brain, reducing the stigma around mental health.

For those dealing with mental health challenges, here are some strategies to overcome stigma:

1. Embrace Treatment: Don't let labels stop you from seeking the help you need, whether it's therapy, medication, or both. There are effective treatments available.

2. Separate Yourself from Your Illness: Remember that your condition doesn't define you. Instead of saying "I'm bipolar," say "I have bipolar disorder."

3. Don't Take Comments Personally: People might say the wrong things, but it often says more about them than you. Consider their perspective rather than internalizing their words.

4. Share Your Story: If comfortable, share your experiences to correct misinformation and help others understand better. It might be challenging, but it can be incredibly beneficial.

Additionally, if you're considering therapy, here are some tips to get the most out of it:

1. Choose Your Therapist Wisely: Look for someone who specializes in your specific problem and with whom you feel comfortable.

2. Treat Therapy as Teamwork: It's a collaboration where you lead initially, but over time, your therapist provides guidance.

3. Be Vulnerable: Open up about your experiences and feelings, even if it's uncomfortable.

4. Take Prescribed Medications: If your therapist recommends medication, take it as prescribed. Ask about side effects and work with your clinician to make the best choice.

5. Define Success: Set goals with your therapist to create a framework for progress, understanding that therapy is a process, not a quick fix.

6. Be Patient: Effective therapy takes time, and it's okay if progress is gradual. Be patient with yourself throughout the journey.

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First, when we mention "one drink," we're referring to 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of hard liquor per day, distributed across the week, not binging on seven drinks in one night.

While recent studies might suggest otherwise, we align with the long-standing advice in the Harvard Health Letter, which is grounded in extensive research from distinguished nutrition scientists at Harvard and beyond. However, it's crucial to emphasize the term "generally" in your query. Nutritional practices, including alcohol consumption, may be beneficial for most but not all individuals, considering the diversity in age, gender, genes, and lifestyles.

Your genetic makeup and gender play pivotal roles in determining susceptibility to alcohol addiction, metabolic efficiency, and the impact on various organs. Moderate alcohol intake can positively alter body chemistry, lowering the risk of heart attacks and strokes. On the flip side, excessive consumption can harm organs like the heart, brain, and liver, and it poses severe risks to a developing fetus in pregnant women. Additionally, alcohol addiction significantly contributes to traffic accidents and violent crime. The recent study you referred to, heavily influenced by death rates in developing nations, underlines the global variations in alcohol-related health issues, particularly evident in higher tuberculosis-related deaths.

Analyzing the impact of alcohol on different diseases reveals a complex landscape. Over 100 studies indicate that women consuming one drink a day experience a lowered risk of heart attacks and the most common strokes compared to non-drinkers. However, these studies also highlight an increased risk of breast cancer associated with even a modest daily drink. It's crucial to weigh this trade-off, considering that heart attacks are a predominant cause of death in women, surpassing breast cancer by tenfold.

In conclusion, women who are pregnant or have a personal or family history of breast cancer, liver disease, or alcohol abuse should generally abstain from alcohol. For others, moderate consumption of one drink a day is generally considered healthy, acknowledging the intricate balance between potential benefits and risks.


We've all heard that loneliness and isolation can impact our health, but which one is worse? A recent Harvard study delved into this question, looking at nearly 14,000 people aged 50 or older over four years. The findings showed that both loneliness and isolation are linked to health problems, but each has its own impact.

Social isolation, which means living alone or not spending time with family and friends, was found to be a stronger predictor of physical decline and early death. On the other hand, loneliness was more connected to mental health issues like depression or feeling that life lacks meaning.

The study highlighted that both loneliness and isolation are significant and can feed into each other. The key takeaway is that staying connected to others is crucial in combating these feelings. If you ever feel lonely, whether or not it's because you're physically isolated, talking to your doctor might be a good idea. Remember, reaching out to others can make a big difference in how we feel.
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Great news! The FDA recently gave the green light to the first-ever pill designed to help moms struggling with postpartum depression. This condition affects around one in seven new mothers, making it tough for them to connect with their babies in the months following childbirth.

The new drug, called zuranolone (Zurzuvae), works quickly and was officially approved on August 4, 2023. What's even better? It's a short two-week course. Until now, the only other approved medication for postpartum depression was brexanolone (Zulresso), but it needed to be given through a hospital-based IV.

Postpartum depression shares symptoms with other types of depression, such as deep sadness, feeling tired all the time, losing interest in regular activities, and struggling with thinking and memory. In severe cases, women might even have thoughts of hurting themselves or their baby.

The introduction of this pill is not just a medical breakthrough; it's also expected to lessen the stigma around postpartum depression. By offering a more accessible treatment option, it aims to encourage more women to seek the help they need. This is a positive step forward for the well-being of new moms everywhere!

The Study is still being monitored.


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A New Era of Personalized Care

Getting a breast cancer diagnosis can be scary, but things have changed a lot in how we treat it. Unlike the old days when everyone got the same treatment, now it's like having a personalized toolkit to fight the disease.

Survival rates have gone up, with only 5% of women at an average risk of dying within five years after a breast cancer diagnosis, down from 14% in the 1990s. Dr. Harold Burstein from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute explains, We may not always know why someone gets breast cancer, but the good news is that outcomes are improving.

Instead of using a one-size-fits-all approach, scientists can now categorize breast tumors based on cell type. This allows for tailor-made combinations of treatments. Surgery is still common, but chemotherapy might be smaller or skipped. New drugs like immunotherapy and targeted therapies are giving doctors more options.

Breast cancer comes in different types, like ER-positive or HER2-positive. Knowing this helps doctors choose the best treatments. Thanks to research in the last decade, tests can now identify gene mutations, predict tumor growth, and help customize treatments.

For ER-positive, HER2-negative breast cancer, the use of chemotherapy has become more selective. Powerful tools allow doctors to decide if a patient really needs it. Medications like CDK4/6 inhibitors are also used for high-risk cases.

HER2-positive breast cancer, a more aggressive type, has seen progress with targeted therapies like Herceptin. A new approach pairs chemotherapy with proteins for better results with fewer side effects.

Triple-negative breast cancer, a fast-growing type, is challenging, but new drugs and immunotherapy are showing promise. Even more promising is the future use of liquid biopsies, blood tests that can guide treatment based on circulating tumor DNA.

Dr. Burstein is optimistic about the coming years, mentioning new technologies like liquid biopsies. For metastatic breast cancer, which isn't curable yet, patients are living longer with new treatments improving their lives.

Inflammatory breast cancer (IBC) is rare but dangerous. Unlike other types, it doesn't always show a lump. Symptoms develop rapidly, and early signs are often mistaken for less serious issues. Dr. Filipa Lynce advises not to ignore changes in the breast, even without a lump. If symptoms persist, seeking medical attention is crucial.

Finally, for women diagnosed with breast cancer, a multidisciplinary care team is essential. Collaboration among specialists and communication with your healthcare team are key to better outcomes. Don't hesitate to ask questions and be an active part of your treatment plan.

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Seasonal affective disorder can be treated and managed with the use of light therapy and medicines.

The winter season brings chilly days and cozy vibes, but for some, it also ushers in a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a form of depression that kicks in during late fall and winter, easing off with the arrival of spring. While the exact cause remains a mystery, researchers believe a lack of sunlight plays a pivotal role.

Dr. Richard Schwartz, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital, emphasizes the significance of recognizing SAD as a serious condition. He notes, "People should not ignore the signs of SAD and should seek treatment if they appear, as left alone, SAD can escalate to serious health issues."

Sunlight and Your Mood

Sunlight exposure has a profound impact on our brains. It stimulates the hypothalamus, a brain region housing our internal sleep-wake clock. Insufficient light disrupts this clock, leading to an overproduction of the sleep hormone melatonin and a decrease in serotonin, the feel-good brain chemical. This chemical imbalance can result in feelings of low energy, lethargy, and depression.

SAD comes with other telltale signs, including diminished sexual desire, an inclination to overeat (especially comfort foods), and sleep disturbances. It also correlates with cognitive challenges like difficulties in concentration and memory. Dr. Schwartz adds, "As you become more lethargic from SAD, you are also less likely to exercise or socialize."

Several factors heighten the risk of SAD, such as a family history of SAD or depression and geographic location. People residing in northern states, where daylight diminishes significantly in fall and winter, are more prone to SAD than those in the south.


How to keep people from getting too angry at gatherings.

The holidays, envisioned as a time of joy, love, and festive lights, sometimes take an unexpected turn into disagreements when family and friends gather. However, with a little planning and awareness of potential triggers, you can avoid getting caught up in arguments.

Understanding Holiday Stress

The holiday season can be stressful due to financial worries, colder weather, and the juggling act of work and time off. Emotional vulnerability is heightened during this time, making it challenging to manage feelings and communicate effectively. Factors like painful memories or a lack of family support can add to the emotional strain.

Alcohol consumption during holiday gatherings can escalate tensions, as it lowers inhibitions and makes it harder to stay calm. In a survey, 57% of respondents noted family members becoming argumentative after consuming too much alcohol.

Childbirth, a timeless and sometimes unpredictable journey, has been an integral part of human experience. In the United States, where rates of avoidable complications and maternal deaths are surprisingly high, the demand for doulas is on the rise. Natalia Richey, interim chief midwife at Massachusetts General Hospital, notes an increasing interest in additional care during pregnancy and birth.

But what does a birth doula do? Unlike midwives or doctors, professional doulas offer emotional and physical support to women throughout pregnancy and the birthing process.

Here's a glimpse into doula care if you're considering it.

Doulas vs. Midwives

While midwives and doulas share some responsibilities, a crucial distinction exists: midwives provide medical care, whereas doulas focus on emotional and physical support. Midwives, like certified nurse-midwives, are trained nurses responsible for maintaining the physical health of both mother and baby during childbirth. On the other hand, doulas don't perform medical tasks; they specialize in helping laboring women stay comfortable and calm, employing various techniques like suggesting comfort measures and optimal positions.

Doula Training and Licensing

It's important to note that doula training lacks standardized rules. Certification from over 100 independent organizations is common, although no formal licensing is required. While private insurers often don't cover doula care, some employers, like Walmart, assist in covering costs. As of February 2023, ten states and the District of Columbia offer Medicaid coverage for doula services.

Impact on Birth Outcomes

A 2023 analysis spanning 22 years and 16 studies found that doula support correlated with improved birth outcomes, including fewer C-sections, premature deliveries, and shorter labor. Emotional support from doulas was associated with reduced anxiety and stress in mothers, with notable improvements in breastfeeding success, especially among low-income women.

Collaboration with Doulas

Agreements regarding care may vary, but typically, doulas meet with expectant individuals throughout pregnancy to discuss birth goals and build rapport. Doulas, akin to obstetricians, are available 24/7 to support clients during labor. This constant support, especially for those with limited resources, can be invaluable.

Doula and OB/GYN Collaboration


Collaboration between doulas and OB/GYN teams is generally seamless. Whether a hospital arranges for a doula or if hired privately, coordination ensures everyone sticks to their roles. Doulas suggest nonpharmacological ways to ease pain, respecting boundaries when medical intervention is necessary.

Questions to Ask When Considering a Doula

Interested in working with a doula? Natalia Richey suggests asking yourself questions like:

- What are my hopes and goals for the childbirth process?
- How do I envision my support team during delivery?
- Do I have friends or family members who have used doulas, and what were their impressions?

When contacting a doula, inquire about their training, the number of births attended, how they can assist during pregnancy and labor, and their approach to collaboration with your partner, spouse, and the medical team.

Take the time to meet with any doula you're considering and make sure they're a good fit, advises Richey. "Because this is someone who will be there during one of the most vulnerable times of your life. Having someone there who doesn't make you feel safe and comfortable can affect birth in a major way.

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Ever notice those little white spots on your nails? Don't worry, they're usually not a big deal. It's like a mystery game to figure out why they showed up, but often, it's just because your nails experienced some minor bumps or rough treatment. Think of it like a badge of honor from a too-hasty manicure or tapping your fingers a bit too enthusiastically.

Oh, and if you've been rocking nail polish for ages without a break, your nails might rebel with some dry, white spots. It's like they're saying, "Hey, let us breathe!" There's also a chance a sneaky fungal infection is behind the scenes, leaving a white film on your nails. Sometimes, more serious stuff like low iron, kidney issues, or liver scarring can play a part in turning your nails half or mostly white.

If you're scratching your head because none of these seem to fit, it's cool to chat with your doctor about it. Waiting for the spots to vanish on their own might take a while – like six months or more – because, you know, nails take their sweet time to grow out.

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Quote of the day

Please remember to bring it to the Lord in prayer. Melody Jacob
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