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What do I do when sex hurts?

Amazing sex always appears to be a piece of cake in the movies. However, real-life sex might provide us with unexpected challenges, such as pain that interferes with situations we had previously expected to be entirely pleasurable.

Many people avoid talking about painful sex since it can be uncomfortable, even with a doctor. But if you're struggling with it, you're not alone. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, discomfort during intercourse is incredibly frequent, with over three-quarters of women feeling pain at some point in their lives. Additionally, up to 60% of women report having painful sex in the run-up to menopause and afterwards.

Strong research shows that women often don't share this concern with their health care providers unless they're specifically asked, and doctors rarely ask

What makes sexual activity painful? It could involve burning, soreness, dryness, or a general feeling of discomfort in addition to the actual jabs or twinges of pain. Although it can affect nearby areas, including the pelvis and lower back, it is often most visible in the vagina and vulva. Sexual activity with partners of either gender can also cause pain.

You don't have to accept painful sex, though. It's time to look at why pleasure becomes discomfort and figure out how to restore enjoyment to the bedroom. Physical intimacy is important for couples.


Why may sex become uncomfortable after years of usually pleasurable lovemaking? Your stage of life is a major contributing factor, but there are many other important elements as well. Gynecologic disorders such as pelvic inflammatory disease, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and fibroids may play a role. As well as other medical conditions like arthritis, radiation, pelvic surgery, or cancer. Even the thought of having sex can be impossible for someone with vulvodynia, a persistent pain illness affecting the vulva.

The following scenarios account for the most painful sex instances:


Childbirth. Undoubtedly, giving birth vaginally is difficult for the vagina, perhaps even more so for women who have undergone an episiotomy or perineal tears. The healing process can take several months. Vaginal dryness can be exacerbated by hormonal changes during childbirth and breastfeeding.

Menopause. A chronic, increasing absence of natural vaginal lubrication can be brought on by declining estrogen levels during the years preceding menopause and after. It typically starts with a sense of dryness or soreness low in the vagina, but over time it can become really uncomfortable everywhere.

High pelvic floor tone (Hypertonic). After a stressful experience, like a sexual assault, the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening may automatically constrict. Ironically, however, the disease might even start with the thought of discomfort in the bedroom. The more you expect sex to hurt, the more your pelvic floor muscles tense, creating a vicious cycle. Your pelvic floor muscles contract whenever intercourse is attempted, making sex even more uncomfortable. It's almost like your body is attempting to protect you. There may seem to be a wall there.

How to increase comfort
If you're afraid it'll hurt, sex can lose its appeal. The proverb "use it or lose it" is not applicable in this instance, however, as having less sex as menopause approaches does not increase the likelihood of painful intercourse.

2,247 women, aged 42 to 52, who reported no sexual pain at the trial's start and consented to log their sexual frequency and symptoms participated in the study, which was published on June 1st, 2022, in Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Over the course of up to 10 follow-up visits over the next 13 years, nearly half of the participants reported experiencing pain during sex at least occasionally. While having oral sex or being aroused more frequently (with or without sexual activity) were connected to lower odds of experiencing sexual pain, vaginal dryness revealed the highest association. But it wasn't taken into account how much sex the women had.

There are thoughts that intercourse is good for the vagina, stretching it and bringing in secretions and blood flow however, there is no data to back this up.

Have you noticed a decline in your sleep quality? Are you frequently waking up during the night and struggling to fall back asleep? Don't worry, you're not alone. Sleep fragmentation, a natural part of aging, can disrupt your sleep patterns. However, if it consistently reduces your sleep duration or prevents you from feeling refreshed upon waking, it's crucial to identify the underlying causes and seek appropriate treatment.

Sleep plays a vital role in restoring and rejuvenating the body. During sleep, the brain flushes out toxins, muscles repair, memories consolidate, and hormones are released. Insufficient or fragmented sleep over time can lead to concentration and mood impairments, as well as an increased risk of obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cognitive decline, premature death, and possibly glaucoma.

Numerous factors can interrupt your sleep, and it's possible to have multiple disruptors exacerbating the issue. Here are some common examples:



1. Electronics: While electronic devices bring convenience to our lives, the blue light emitted from smartphone screens can hinder falling asleep. Similarly, noise from TV shows, music playlists, or podcasts playing overnight can disrupt your slumber.

2. Bed Partners: Snoring or restless movements from a bed partner, as well as pets or children climbing into bed, can disturb your sleep, especially if they encroach on your sleeping space.

3. Food or Alcohol: Consuming caffeine-containing items like chocolate, tea, or coffee later in the day can make it challenging to stay asleep. Late-night snacks may taste good initially, but they can cause heartburn and acid reflux during the night. Additionally, alcohol may help you fall asleep initially but can lead to sleep fragmentation as it wears off.

4. Underlying Conditions: Various health conditions, such as sleep apnea, chronic pain, neuropathy, hot flashes, stress, anxiety, depression, frequent nighttime bathroom trips, or tinnitus, can prevent you from sleeping through the night.

5. Medications: Certain medications meant to alleviate health issues can interfere with sleep. Examples include some antidepressants, steroids, beta blockers for high blood pressure, and drugs used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

6. Sleeping Environment: Uncomfortable beds, excessive room temperature, and light seeping through windows can all disrupt your sleep.
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